The Dilemma
He speaks a million miles an hour and most of the time its absolute rubbish, its cynical, it’s primal and damn it its funny!
Vince Vaughn is a man’s man and as any real man will tell you Vince tells it like a man thinks it!
He cuts through the soppy stuff and keeps it real, men want to be him and...Women...um...well Jenifer Aniston fell for him!
He has a unique brand of sense of humour and often seems like he’s thrown the script out the window, because honestly who could write this stuff – pure genius!
After a two year hiatus Vaughn makes a triumphant return to the big screen with his new film The Dilemma which will be in cinemas this week (21st of January) and to celebrate the Vaughnanators return to his ass kicking best we have put together a list of his top 10 moments in film.
Be aware once you’ve had a taste of the Vince Vaughn brand of humour you will be hooked, it’s a vicious cycle...consider this fair Vaughning!
1. The Dilemma
Vince Vaughn and Kevin James headline an all-star comedy from director Ron Howard and producer Brian Grazer about a man who finds out that what you don’t say to a friend is just as important as what you do.
Jennifer Connelly, Winona Ryder, Channing Tatum and Queen Latifah join them in The Dilemma, a story of how far you can bend a brotherly bond before it snaps.
This scene takes place when Ronny takes the opportunity to turn a toast to an elderly couple in to a furtive jibe at Nick’s wife:
Ronny: “I would like to make a little toast, to Burt and Sue, 40 years, wow! I would assume that the thing that would get you through those 40 years is a little friend I like to call honesty!”
Burt: “And Love”
Ronny: “That’s a good one but I think that comes too from honesty”
Cousin Betty: “And similar interests”
Ronny: “Who are you?”
Cousin Betty: “I’m Cousin Betty!”
Ronny: “First Cousin?”
Cousin Betty: “Second”
Ronny: “Ok second Cousin, just so you know is not really even a relative because someone could have sex with their second cousin and the kid would most likely still be normal”
2. Wedding Crashers
Jeremy (Vince Vaughn) and John (Owen Wilson) are best friends who spend their spare time crashing weddings to pick up chicks...yes please!
Everything is going swimmingly until John falls for Claire (Rachel McAdams) at one of the weddings they’ve crashed.
Claire’s father (Christopher Walken) invites the pair to spend the weekend with them and the family at their mansion, John accepts and Jeremy reluctantly goes along.
At the family’s house Jeremy finds himself being pursued by Claire’s crazy younger sister (Isla Fisher), whom he has an awkward moment with at the dinner table.
At the same time John has to fend off advances from their cougar mother (Jane Seymore):
Jeremy: “Why you got the weird look on your face?”
John: “Claire’s mum just made me grab her hooters”
Jeremy: “Well snap out of it, what a hot older women made you feel her cans! Stop crying like a little girl.”
John: “I wasn’t crying like a little girl.”
Jeremy: “Why don’t you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What’d you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
[makes sputtering motorboat noise]
Jeremy: You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?”
3. The Break Up
Gary (Vaughn) and Brooke (Jennifer Anniston) are going through a messy break up, but still living in the same house – recipe for disaster.
Gary is pig headed, stubborn, inconsiderate, he wants put a pool table in the living room and he is a MAN.
Brooke is kind, caring, considerate and she just wants Gary to care. This scene takes place after Gary tries to forcefully remove Brooks’s cousin and his Barber Shop Quartet from the apartment but comes off a bit worse for wear:
Gary: “There’s a real big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you’re in a fight.
But I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower.”
4. Mr and Mrs Smith
In this sexy spy flick Vaughn stars alongside two of Hollywood’s heavy weights in Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. John (Brad) and Jane (Angelina) are a happily married couple who turn out to be spies who work for opposing sides.
Vince plays the role of John’s best friend Eddie who turns down a $400,000 bounty posted by their employers to have them killed. Eddie ends up helping the Smiths by getting involved in the action. Eddie however is a spy with a difference – he still lives with his mum!
Eddie: [shouts] “Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!”
5. Dodgeball
Peter LaFleur (Vince Vaughn) is a proud underachiever and owner of a rundown gym called Average Joe's. All the members at the gym are decidedly less than average Joe’s but nonetheless the Gym provides a safe haven for a group of misfits that don’t quite fit in to the outside world.
Their sanctuary comes under threat when White Goodman (Ben Stiller) the Mullet Sporting owner of the Globo Gym franchise decides that he wants to buy Average Joes and convert it in to one of his flashy up market gyms.
The only way that they can save the Average Joes is to win a national dodgeball competition where they must defeat the all star Globo Gym team. Unfortunately for Peter this means he will have to step out of his comfort zone and actually aim for an above average result:
Peter La Fleur: “I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don’t have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya… it feels phenomenal.”
6. Starsky and Hutch
Three of the undisputed kings of comedy come together in this remake of the classic 1970’s cop show Starsky and Hutch.
Detective David Starsky (Ben Stiller) is the most dedicated undercover cop working the mean streets of Bay City, California.
Detective Ken "Hutch" Hutchinson (Owen Wilson) is having career issues - he's a good cop, but his laidback personality and desire for a quick buck don't always get the job done.
Reese Feldman (Vaughn) plays the badass Jewish master criminal who has developed an undetectable form of cocaine, and Kitty (Juliet Lewis) is his girlfriend:
Reese Feldman: “[Kitty kisses Reese] Mmm... why'd I'd get so lucky? “
Kitty: “I dunno... I just love when you talk so tough... “
Reese Feldman: “Of course you do baby, that's why you're my girlfriend on the side.”
7.Old School
Three men relive their carefree college years by killing off as many brain cells as possible in this over-the-top comedy. Mitch (Luke Wilson) returns home from a business trip one evening to discover his wife, Heidi (Juliette Lewis), involved in a ménage à trois with two blindfolded strangers.
He moves out and rents a house near the campus of a nearby college and two of his old college buddies, Beanie (Vince Vaughn) and Frank (Will Ferrell), stop by to cheer him up. Beanie decides to throw a housewarming party for Mitch, and since Beanie sells audio equipment for a living, he's able to trick out the big bash with a massive PA system and an appearance by Snoop Dogg.
Mitch soon finds he's the not-entirely-willing proprietor of the school's leading party spot. Beanie always has his kids with him and however reckless he may be he is extremely conscious of exposing them to bad language.
In order to shield them from the foul mouths of his friends he has devised a system whereby if they need to swear they say “ear muffs” so that his kids cover their ears:
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say “earmuffs” to him, and you can say “Fuck, shit, bitch.”
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I’m just trying to make a point, Frank. You don’t have to celebrate it.
8. Made
Vaughn teams up with Favreau in his directorial debut. Bobby (Jon Favreau), a failing boxer with more heart than brains, drags his loser buddy Ricky (Vince Vaughn) along from Los Angeles to New York to do some work for a mob fixer (Peter Falk).
They leave a trail of apologies and screw-ups in their wake. Ricky may be a loser but as with any Vince Vaughn character he is still cocky as hell:
Ricky: "Hey lady, you missed out! I'm staying at the SoHo Grand this trip, you know what I mean? Listen, I'd give you a ride in my limo but I gotta stretch my sh*t out. I'm a tall drink of water, I don't want to wrinkle anything."
9. Swingers
This is a story about Mike (Jon Favreau), a guy who left his girl in New York when he came to LA to be a star. It's been six months since his girlfriend left him and he's not doing so well.
His best friend Trent (Vaughn) and a few other buddies try to get Mike “back on the horse” so to speak, but Mike just wants to wallow in his sorrow. Trent won’t give up though and just keeps pushing in that classic “bull in a china shop” style:
Trent: “Hey! What’re you kicking me for? You want me to ask? All right, I’ll ask! Ma’am, where do the high school girls hang out in this town?”
10. Couple’s Retreat
Dave (Vaughn) and his wife are talked in to going along on a group holiday after his best friend reveals that his marriage is in trouble and he thinks that this couples retreat will be their last chance of salvaging their relationship.
Thinking that they are going on a relaxing tropical island holiday the group of friends are horrified to find that in order to stay they must also participate the therapy sessions, which includes yoga.
The overzealous yoga instructor sports a tight pair of budgie smugglers and really likes to get hands on with his instruction.
Dave: “You got a pose called yoga guy gets his ass kicked? Cause that's my favourite one.”
The Dilemma is released 21st January
Tagged in Vince Vaughn