District 9
It seems that extra terrestrials have been trying to invade out lovely planet for years and the human race is always facing some kind of alien invasion.
And this week is no different with the release of the Peter Jackson produced movie District 9, where once again a spaceship looms over planet earth.
So with the planet seemingly always in peril here are a few tips on how to invade the alien invasion.
Don’t just stand there looking at the flying saucers that are hell bent on invading the planet a good old gawp will only result in one thing... death!
Plus don’t try and welcome the aliens do you recall all those who went to the top of the Empire State Building in Independence Day did they make it to the end of the film? In a word... No. Nine times out of ten aliens are her to invade not make life long friendships and send Christmas cards.
However having said that on the odd occasion buddying up is quite possibly a good thing, Elliott found a loyal friend in E. T. Plus this plan also gives you the chance to teach the invading aliens about some of the finer points of humanity.
Watch the people around you are they behaving a little stranger than usual? If so then I’m afraid they have either been killed and replaced by a clone or are being controlled in some way, drinking lots of water like in The Faculty also spells trouble.
However, much like Roy Neary in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, if you have a real desire to go off an explore the universe with our alien friends by all means board their ship and maybe they will leave the rest of us in peace.
Don't try and use guns or fighter planes or bombs on the invading spaceship as you should know by know by now that they have no effect on them whatsoever so do not volunteer to jump in a fighter jet to do battle with the enemy. Instead just sit back and wait for the earth's atmosphere to send them packing, it worked in War of the Worlds water also comes in quite handy too.
However if the elements fail to bring about a sticky end for our visitors then maybe some weapons kept in a handy place would be a help. An endless supply of wood also helps… how quickly did they board that house up in Signs?
Failing all of that just call in Will Smith as that man always seems to be protecting the planet from some sort of alien danger! He defeats an alien with a single punch in Independence Day… what a guy!
District 9 is out now.
FemaleFirst Helen Earnshaw
Tagged in Peter Jackson