For many guys, the thought of showing emotion in front of a partner can be daunting; often, men feel that showing any emotion makes them weak and vulnerable when in reality, being honest about our emotions reflects strength, integrity, and confidence.
It's ok to cry
If both parties can be open about their feelings, the relationship will be healthier; this shows trust and helps to maintain good communication. However, despite its’ positives, some men still choose to hold back and avoid showing emotion where possible.
Ben Edwards, a self-confidence expert and relationship coach, shares insight into why some men can be afraid to show their emotions. Ben also provides invaluable advice for these individuals and their partners; overcoming this struggle is much easier than people think, you might just need a little help along the way.
They think it shows weakness
Showing emotion can often be affiliated with sadness and vulnerability; two feelings men are stereotypically reluctant to admit they feel. As a result, it’s not uncommon for men to hide from their emotions; waiting for things to pass, many of us try to prove that we’re stronger than the problem.
However, this is a misconception. Expressing your feelings with a partner shows you care, highlighting that you’re truly invested in the relationship. Rather than reflecting a weakness, the ability to be confident in discussing our feelings is an indisputable strength.
They don’t know how
From an early age, men are often taught to be stereotypically masculine; “boys don’t cry, toughen up!”. This can lead to later confusion, as we’re not shown how to productively process and express our emotions; no matter your gender, no limits should be placed on emotional expression. Opening up can be daunting for anyone, but this will become all the more pertinent if it’s your first time doing so. If we’re not taught how to release our feelings then inevitably as we grow older, this will become even more difficult.
Similarly, if we’re not taught how to express our emotions, we might not realise how our feelings impact someone else’s life. In this sense, relationships can become a big learning curve; when we realise the affect our emotions have, this will slowly make us feel more comfortable sharing them.
If your partner struggles with expressing their emotions, talk to them about why they find this difficult and try not to expect too much too soon, this might be all new!
Anger overtakes
Emotions are not always expressed positively and occasionally, in anger, these can come to the surface in less than productive ways; we might find ourselves lashing out or cursing rather than sitting down and talking through the situation. If a man’s identity largely incorporates the ‘hard man exterior’, this may feel more natural than calmly evaluating the situation.
If you or a partner find you’re struggling with anger and processing emotions in a safe, helpful way then you might benefit from seeking the expertise of a professional. For example, a life coach can get you talking about feelings and your personal difficulties, leading you to a healthier lifestyle and relationship.
Fear
We often believe that staying silent reduces the chance of saying something wrong, which could cause harm in a relationship. Conversations can then become one sided as your partner is open about their feelings, whilst you simply agree with everything they say. Men sometimes fear, like many worried partners of both genders, that as soon as they comment, an already heated conversation could go up in smoke.
If you find that your partner holds back in discussing their views, reassure them that this honesty will be welcomed. Some men find it harder than others and comforting them will help to build a stronger connection.
For more information please visit: www.facebook.com/officialbenedwards