Today was created by motivational speaker Martha J. Ross-Rodgers and is intended to help people to let go of the past and live for the present. Here are seven ways you can celebrate the day…
National Calendar Day on Female First
Write down your regrets: Take a piece of paper and write down everything you regret in your life so far. The fact is- you can’t change the things that have already happened- you can only learn from them. Release them all onto this piece of paper and then crumple it up and throw it away. Ross-Rodgers encourages you to make the following resolution after you’ve completed this task:
“From this day forward, I choose not to live in the past. The past is history that I cannot change. I can do something about the present; I choose to live in the present.”
Write down all the ‘shoulds’ people have told you: Here are a few that come to mind:
You should be a certain size
You should make this amount of money
You should choose this career path
You should choose this type of partner
You should act this way
You should live this way
You should look this way
Just because someone has told you you should do something doesn’t mean you have to or want to. Once you’ve transferred all these ‘shoulds’ onto paper- ball it up and throw this away too.
Write down all your ‘could haves’: All the things you could have done and been- write them down too; here are a few suggestions to help you:
I could have done this for a career
I could have done this before having kids
I could have gone there
I could have seen this person
I could have seen this place
I could have said that
I could have done that differently
Once you’ve completed this list- yes, you’ve guessed it- throw it on the pile of paper with the other things you are mentally letting go of. You could have done these things- but you didn’t. It’s time to accept that they weren’t important enough to you to pursue them- and that’s ok.
Look around your home for the ‘aspirational you’ items: Things you’ve bought because the future, fictional you will use them- items that you know deep down you have no interest in using:
Exercise equipment you will never pick up
Books you will never read
Kitchen appliances you will never reach for to cook with
Clothes you will never wear
Notebooks you will never write in
Games you will never play
Movies you will never watch
Ornaments you will never display
Furniture you will never sit on
Products you will never put on your body
Once you have identified these items- start bagging them up for your local charity shop, giving them to friends and family if they will use them, listing them to sell on or getting rid of them completely if they are of no use to anyone. Focus on the REAL you- not the you that you think you should be. By cleansing your home of the things that make you the person you think you should be- it leaves space for the person you actually are.
Write down how you think you should be spending your time:
I should be writing my novel
I should be going to the gym
I should be spending more time with this person
I should be volunteering
I should be going to this place more
Again, once you’ve got it all down on paper- scrunch it up and discard it.
Not everyone has to write a novel, some people enjoy exercise outdoors and sometimes we feel compelled to spend time with people who aren’t good for us. Volunteering is not for everyone and if you don’t feel comfortable going somewhere- you don’t have to go.
Make a list of what you WANT to do: No more should- there is no room for should anymore- only what you truly desire. This is a list of the small goals you want to achieve in the next 24 hours. Here are some pointers:
I want to do… today
I want to spend time with this person (or be alone) today….
I want to have achieved this by the end of the day….
Start small and do this every day. Once you are in the habit of completing things on these lists- you can focus on the long term goals.
What have you learned from the experience? Write down what you have gleaned from letting go of all the ‘could haves’ and ‘should haves’ in your life. This is the most honest list you will write as it will come from the heart and reflect the present you.
Make a list of the you in the here and now- a declaration if you will:
I am….
I live….
I love this person/these people….
I spend my time doing….
I enjoy spending time with….
My current passions are….
The positives in my life are….
Focus on only the things that are relevant for the here and now. Live in the present- not the past.
Happy National Toss Away the 'Could Haves' and 'Should Haves' Day!
Source: www.nationalcalendarday.com
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