3 Ways to experience happiness from within

26 June 2018

Have you ever met the perfect guy, only to realise he doesn’t make you happy?

Accept that you can't change anyone

Maybe you got the promotion you were after, but it didn’t make you feel the way you expected.

Everyone is searching for happiness. But what is happiness and how does it feel to be truly happy on the inside? If you stop and think for a moment, it’s usually someone else’s idea of happiness that we’re chasing. That’s why when we get that big house, a dream vacation or a big car, a part of us is still looking for the thing that’s missing. Before we explore the key to experiencing inner happiness, it’s important to understand what kills our happiness in the first place. There are three main culprits: comparison, greed and judgment. The good news is you can stop these from taking over your happiness by understanding how they operate at a deeper level. You can replace comparison by appreciating what you have.

You can release greed by accepting what you don’t have.

And you can clear judgment by trusting that whatever you have is what you need, right here, right now.

It’s these behaviours that form the basis of the 3 steps that will allow you to stay happy at all times.

Appreciation: for what you have

To understand this, let’s take a look at the difference between gratitude and appreciation. Gratitude is what you feel when you didn’t have something all this while, and now you have it, so you’re thankful for it. It implies that there was a void and getting that something has filled this void in you. Appreciation on the other hand says you already have this in your life, and now you are wanting and desiring more of what you have. There’s no thoughts of comparison involved which could lead to not feeling enough. It instead centres on the enjoyment you feel for something which leads to the creation of true inner happiness.

Acceptance: that you can’t change anybody

Acceptance comes from the understanding that you cannot control anybody else. Everyone is responsible for their own life and if you try to change other people, you’ll be forever miserable. The need to change people comes from a false belief that if they’re different, it will make you happier. There’s a sense of greed there, as you want more than you have. But if you accept people as they are and remember that happiness comes from within, then you can experience lasting happiness.

You can, of course, accept change for yourself. Take the example of a woman who has been prioritising her career for many years when learning that she’s pregnant; even though she wants to have a baby, she may struggle with the thought of her life changing. It’s only when she accepts that her life will change that she’ll be happy.

Trust: everything is exactly as it should be

We’ve all been in the position where we’ve not trusted situations, people, or places. What’s at the heart of this? FOMO - fear of missing out. There’s an element of judgement involved as you’re deciding what’s right and what’s wrong. You believe that the thing you’re missing out on is the right thing to happen, which creates the fear. This fear prevents you from being happy. When you instead accept that everything is happening just as it should be, you can move back onto the path of happiness

Equally, when you feel the fear of not doing enough, your happiness will be affected. Again judgement comes into the picture, as you compare yourself to others whilst forming an opinion of your own behaviour. Trusting that you are enough, that you are playing your role exactly as you should, will turn this around. There’s a saying that the will of the Universe will only take you where the grace of the Universe can protect you. So, if all your wishes are being granted, be happy. And if you’re not getting what you desire... then there’s a reason for things to be playing out as they are. Appreciate what you do have, accept the situation exactly as it is, and trust it’s actually the perfect situation at the perfect time. And stay happy!