Gossip Girl Fashion Rundown: There Might Be Blood

26 March 2009

Gossip Girl's Nate and Jenny

After last week's impressive episode which saw Jenny blossom into a bratty teenager, with way too much eyeliner, what could be expect from this week's Gossip Girl?

Well, plenty actually, as the episode opened with Jenny and Agnes busy planning an illegal fashion show and reminiscing about Jenny's horrifying/bizarre (delete as appropriate) kiss with the lovely Nate Archibald. You know, as you do.

Working furiously on her little sewing machine, it was a relief this week to see that Jenny had toned down the eyeliner, and looked almost normal in a simple T-shirt and jeans.

While we're not a big fan of Agnes, the girl has got style and we were particularly impressed with her funky fringed waistcoat, and wet look shorts she sported in the opening few minutes.

Onto lonely boy and Nate, who have now started dressing alike. Yes, really. While Dan sported a fetching grey T-shirt and black jacket, Nate upped the style ante in a simple blue tee and black cardi combo. Way to break the style rules guys...

Anyway, it turned out Nate was feeling pretty guilty for his smooch with Jenny last week, and Dan was trying to find out what was wrong, because he is an inquisitive little fellow, who is so clearly clueless as to what is going on around him.

After two minutes of puzzling facial expressions and tortured soul searching, about how he wants to be a writer, someone from Yale called to burst his little bubble, and told him they were having difficulty getting him a recommendation. Oh Dear.

While Brooklyn was reeling from his rejection, we were introduced to Serena and Blair having afternoon tea at some posh lady's penthouse. Now, we have no idea how Serena gets away with wearing as little as she does, and still get accepted in polite society.

Tonight was another classic boobs and bum dress, which Serena seems so fond of, but we have to admit it was pretty cool. She suits that washed out grey colour, and the embellished waistline was also gorgeous. Ahh well Serena, whatever floats your boat!

She did look particularly slutty when sat next to a very prim and proper looking Blair however, who rocked a stunning in a red shirtdress, by Catherine Malandrino to perfection.

While she may of looked a picture of innocence, Blair was in full plotting mode scheming to get into Yale, with Serena offering up B for babysitting duty to impress the Dean.

Enter Emma, a mini version of Blair in a pink dress, white cardigan and matching headband. If she possesses all of Blair's qualities, aside from just her wardrobe, then we have a hunch this babysitting lark will not be as easy as Queen B had hoped.

While Serena leaves Blair to ponder the evening ahead, we were introduced to Aaron once again, who like a bad smell refuses to go away, despite having multiple women kissing him throughout the episode. Take the hint Serena!

His facial hair is seriously disturbing and he just generally freaks me out whenever he's on screen. Why on earth Serena would fall for him in her lovely cream coat is a mystery to me. End this torture now writers!

Back to Brooklyn and Agnes and Jenny are caught red handed heading out of the door, to stage an illegal fashion show. Poor Dan's face is a picture as he realises his sister's deception, while Nate just stands there looking dumbfounded by the whole thing.

We take it all back about Agnes' style at this moment, as her PVC stripper jacket was not one of her finest fashion moments, but we did love J's retro leopard print coat, teamed with pouty red lips and bleached blonde hair, however. Big thumbs up, little J!

While Jenny was lamenting about her only chance to be a fashion designer (you're only 15 love, get over it!) we were treated to a more grown up Emma walking out of her flat in a tiny tye-dye dress.

Poor Blair was left horrified when Emma explained she wanted to lose her virginity before her best friend, called- wait for it- Muffy. Yes, really.

As she very calmly explained she was going to do it on B's watch, we loved Blair's reaction to the whole thing- 'oh my god, stop your mouth from moving' before finally calling her bluff and branding her 'little Lohan'. Love it!

Thinking on their feet Blair and Serena hatch a plan to get Emma away from the naughty boys of the Upper East Side, and let her raid Serena's wardrobe. How that will help her look less 'up for it', god only knows, as she emerged in a tiny strapless pink sequined dress.

Unfortunately for Queen B, who should enter the Bass-Van Der Woodsen penthouse at that very moment but Chuck, and he clearly likes the young vision in front of him.

Cue some very uncomfortable watching as Emma tries to convince him to take her in his limo, with Chuck responding with one of the cheesiest lines of the series- 'Looks like you just hooked yourself a Bass' Cringe!

We loved his tartan jacket and cravat however, as it seems he was back to his fashionable best after last week's lame purple jumper. As Emma was on her way to becoming a woman, we cut to Dan and Vanessa discussing Jenny's predicament in the gallery.

What the hell is going on with Vanessa and her dress sense this season so far, god only knows. A scary tweed and checked top with flowers sewn onto it, paired with chavvy gold boots. Her and Dan belong together.

While everyone in Brooklyn was running around trying to save Jenny, Blair was freaking out about Chuck and jail bait riding off together in his limo. Even when she's angry she still manages to look so composed, and her intricate beaded dress was one of the highlights of the episode.

We almost keeled over when we realised Serena was actually covered up in a beautiful floor-length Cavalli gown, until we realised her boobs were very much on show to the world still.

Enter Chuck looking very sheepish and Blair shoving him up against the wall accusing him of taking Emma's virginity. We loved her 'Limo's and virgins, your speciality' line, which was returned by a cute aww moment from the Bass.

Blair and Chuck back to their scheming best

He then breaks the moment by hilariously claiming she attacked him and tried to get him to deflower her! Chuck refusing to do the deed? Wow, he really must have it bad for Blair, and with that the three amigos set off in search of the little lost virgin, Chuck swaggering behind them, like he's downed a bottle of scotch.

Cut to Nate and Jenny who are at The Palace planning to crash a party and hold her fashion show, with J once again harping on about her designer future. Anyone else bored of this already?

She does manage to get Nate in a suit, so we give her a big high five for that, and her cute H&M yellow prom dress, paired with wet look leggings, Aldo shoes and black fascinator were absolutely gorge. Seriously if she just went back to being normal, but kept this new found style, we'd be happy people.

Unfortunately for Jenny, her snogging Nate in public earns her a place on Gossip Girl and Dan is now seriously pissed with his former BFF. Oh dear, sparks are going to fly...

Back to Blair and Serena's mission to find Emma and they've decided to cover up in matching sequined cardigans- how cute! After spying Em's mum snogging someone who isn't her husband, Blair thinks she's found her golden ticket into Yale and decides to ditch Emma.

Of course, Saint Serena convinces her otherwise and we get the lovely fuzzy moment of Chuck and Blair linking arms to go and find Emma and protect her virtue. Aww!

The action at The Palace is now well and truly kicking off, with Dan confronting Nate about Jenny and Agnes now getting ready to air J Humprey designs to the fashionable elite.

Now, we're a bit perplexed by this scene, because Agnes and the other models all look like a car crash, and from what we saw nothing was remotely fashionable.

Yet, everyone seemed to be lapping it up, despite the terrible hair, make-up and clothes sported by Agnes and co. In all honesty it looked like a bad Gap commercial and the word 'chavtastic' doesn't even begin to cover it.

Running over to kiss Nate again in front of the world's media does Jenny no favours either, as Vanessa sees the lustful exchange and leaves looking very hurt. Oh dear Nate, no friends, home or girlfriend.. things are looking bad.

While Nate's world crumbles around him, Chuck and Blair find Emma and tell her to check Gossip Girl. Intrigued, she does so, only to find the blast 'Muffy's muff got stuffed' (oh my god, who wrote this episode?!) and leaves with the terrible twosome.

In a moment of weakness Blair admits she lost her virginity to someone she loved, and delivers Emma home to a very angry looking mother.

While Blair considers blackmailing her, a chance exchange with her daughter leads to Blair doing the decent thing. I think hell may have just frozen over...

Back to Jenny and her designer debut, and we're treated to her almost being arrested, when Rufus steps in and calls the police.

Now, while we're not big fans of the new J, handing her in to the cops is pretty harsh, so it comes as no surprise to later learn she's run away.

The episode ends on quite a sad note really, not least because of Serena and Blair's bedroom attire. Seriously, who the hell wears low cut silk dresses to bed?

Serena's purple camisole was really pretty, but what ever happened to comfy PJ's?! Blair's was marginally better, as at least she was covered up in a black tired dress with sheer panelling.

The parting shot for this week showed Jenny sadly lugging her sewing machine around New York in a gorgeous oversized grey and white hooded cardigan, rock T-shirt and jeans. Oh and the raccoon eyes were back once again, signaling this train wreck is far from over.

So what can we expect from next week? Well, Jenny learns a hard lesson on her road to becoming a star, Serena chases after Aaron to try and get them official, and Blair? Well, she has a very small man to deal with. Check in next week for another fashion rundown with Bonfire Of The Vanity.