How often do you find yourself in a bad mood?
Feeling fat, money worries and partners not listening are just some of the triggers for our bad moods, which we spend nearly five hours a week in, according to new research.
The study found that in a typical week, the average female spends 4 hours 53 minutes in a mood, although men seem to think it’s closer to 8 hours.
Half of all women polled confessed they were moody ‘a lot’ and 38 per cent claimed that their moods are getting worse as they age. But what’s the trigger?
Nearly a quarter of the females polled said their partner was often the root of their bad mood, with 37 per cent of men claiming the ‘slightest thing’ can put their wife or girlfriend in a strop. A quarter of men said their partners struggled with hormonal problems related to their ‘time of the month’ or going through the menopause, and 35 per cent of women agreed, saying their moods escalated due to PMT.
Other key triggers that put women in a moody frame of mind were bad weather with winter looming, children and partners never listening, and the fact they feel undervalued and struggle to keep on top of domestic chores and generally having too much to do.
Sally Brown a psychotherapist on behalf of Healthspan, who conducted the research, said: “Moods are a barometer of our overall wellbeing. The research shows both men and women are susceptible to being in a bad mood from time to time, but what is interesting is more how the sexes cope with their moods. Women crave ‘me time’ and men tend to rely on their partners to help lift them out of their moods. It’s also not surprising then that 23 per cent of those polled said their ‘moodiness’ was affecting their relationship.
Everyday challenges from bad traffic to failing technology can tip women into a bad mood and the change in the seasons as we head into winter will affect mood too. The scales are slightly skewed for women though, as female hormones have a big impact on moods. Thankfully lifestyle choices, such as making sure you surround yourself with ‘happy’ people, will work as an antidote and there are often simple ways to help boost our mood as revealed with half of those polled opting for a simple warm bath to lift a mood.”
The study found that the best remedy to ease a bad mood was spending time alone, followed by spending time with children and then exercise. A less healthy one in ten turned to chocolate to cheer them up and nearly two fifths downed a glass of wine and a fifth said shopping helped.
Dr Hilary Jones, GP and media doctor says: “Hormones can have a huge impact on both sexes lives. We shouldn’t underestimate the affect hormones also have on men’s lives. Two fifths of men claimed their moods were increasing as they aged and the ‘manopause’ is very real for men as they deplete in testosterone. There are lots of natural alternatives as a first port of call for both sexes and as we head into autumn we shouldn’t undermine the impact the weather can even play on our moods. The poll revealed that 30 per cent of those surveyed said the weather affected their mood so coming into the shorter days it can be just simply a matter of boosting vitamin D levels.”
Sally Brown is a psychotherapist and registered member of the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP). Here she discusses the top 10 causes of being in a mood and how to beat them
1. Being overweight - 37%
* Watch your body language – your posture can affect your mood. Studies show that simply sitting and standing up tall gives us an instant mood boost.
* Ban the fat talk. Even jokey comments about your ‘thunder thighs’ take their toll on your mood and self-esteem
* Get active. Your body image improves when you take up exercise even before any physical changes start to show, according to a recent study.
2. Partner not listening - 31%
* Be the change you want to see in your relationship - start really listening to your partner without interrupting.
* Make them a cup of tea – strange as it sounds, research shows your chances of getting someone to agree to a request go up substantially if they’re holding a warm drink while you talk to them
* Stick to the 5:1 ratio, the formula for happy relationships – make five positive comments for every one negative comment. It’s a win-win for both of you
3. Feeling under the weather - 31%
* Get some herbal help – many people find a general mood-boosting supplement like Rhodiola helps give them a lift
* Get enough sleep – we sleep for two hours less than we did in 1960, and it can take its toll on your general health
4. Weather/ bad weather - 30%
* Crack a smile - consciously activating your smile muscles lowers the stress response and releases happy chemicals in the brain just as effectively as a spontaneous smile
* Give winter a mental ‘rebrand’ – focus on everything that’s great about the season, from Christmas parties to cosy nights in by the fire
* Wrap up warm and go for a walk – in one survey 85 per cent of people said it helped boost their mood in winter
5. Not having enough money - 30%
* Focus on what you’ve got – think of three things you’re grateful for every day
* Match your friends to your income – if you spend a lot of time with people who have more money than you, you’ll never feel content
* Think experiences not possessions – research shows you get a longer-lasting mood boost from experiences like a picnic with the family, or a walk with a friend, than you do from buying something new.
6. Technology e.g. internet crashing / computer not working - 30%
* Keep stress levels in check with a deep breathing exercise – try breathing in to a count of six and out to a count of eight
* Upgrade your tech skills – it will help you feel more in control, which has a knock-on boost in mood
7. Feeling undervalued - 29%
* Do something for someone else – good deeds give you a feel-good boost and can give you a sense of purpose in life
* Work on your self-acceptance – in the end, it’s your opinion of yourself that matters, not anyone else’s
* Be a self-publicist – a lot of what we do at work is invisible. Make sure you keep your boss up to date with everything you do and what an asset you are to the company
8. No one helping with anything - 27%
* Delegate like you mean it – give everyone a job to do, and if they don’t do it, show them you’re serious by leaving it undone
* Sell the positives – ‘if we all help tidy up this morning we’ll have time to go for a swim before lunch’
* Ring-fence your me-time – arrange time just for you from domestic chores at least once a week, whether it’s to go to the gym or meet a friend for coffee
9. Time of the month - 24%
* Be kind to yourself.
* Warmth - the comfort of a hot water bottle is fabulous and heat therapy helps.
* Agnus castus can relieve a variety of physical and emotional PMS symptoms including irritability, mood changes, headache and breast fullness
* Eat foods that make you feel better says Rob Hobson, Healthspan Head of Nutrition and avoid foods that leave your blood sugars crashing. Foods rich in Vitamin B6 product serotonin. Getting plenty of fruit and vegetables and choosing low-sodium foods that are rich in calcium, zinc and healthy oils such as omega-3 may help to keep your levels of prostaglandin production in check and reduce bloating, allowing for easier periods.
10. PMT - 23%
* Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break and don’t take on too much.
* Cut back on alcohol- it’s not your friend! At this time of the month it can make your mood worse
* Hit the gym – exercise is a great way to defuse anger and irritability
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