Family
Our featured author, Kate Thompson, revealed that what prompted her to write her latest novel, The Kinsella Sisters, was Empty Nest Syndrome, caused by her 22 year old daughter leaving home.
"I didn't think that I would be the sort of mother who would be afflicted by that but it really hit me badly, I got terribly depressed, I had completely no motivation,” she said.
The term, Empty Nest Syndrome, is not something that is widely heard of so here are the facts on this psychological condition.
Parents are most likely to suffer from Empty Nest Syndrome in autumn as this is when teenagers have just left home for college or university. It can also occur when a child gets married and moves in with their spouse.
Most feelings of sadness are nothing to be too concerned about as it is perfectly normal for a mother or father to feel this way when their children move away.
Often people will admit to sleeping in their child’s bedroom for a brief period or smelling their clothing to be reminded of them. Whichever way people deal with the situation, it is important that they acknowledge their feelings.
The condition becomes more worrying when a parent falls into a state of depression - constantly crying and feeling that their life is over. Some admit to being that upset that they can’t go into work or socialise with their friends. In these instances, people should seek professional help.
A GP will probably offer a dose of antidepressants, and counselling may also be necessary. It is thought that the condition can be intensified if a woman is going through the menopause at the same time.
In cases like this, as well as the help of a GP, the Natural Health Advisory Service and an organisation called the Amarant Trust can help women cope with the difficulties of the menopause.
Some parents are also hit by an age dilemma when their children leave home. They feel that their children keep them young and energized, so when they leave, this influence is gone.
But psychotherapist Paula Hall, says that parents can work this to their advantage. “You have the wisdom of many years together. You know each other very well and it's important that you look forward, not back.”
So what is the best way of dealing with Empty Nest Syndrome?
Net Doctor advises people to keep in touch with their child but not excessively. They state that the more a parent clings onto their child, the less likelihood there is of him or her contacting them.
Letting a child know that you will always be there for them without obsessive intrusion is always a good thing.
Other ways a person can beat the depression caused by the condition is surrounding themselves with friends and loved ones who are likely to distract them from their worries. Taking up a hobby is also another great way of channeling those feelings of sadness.
A child moving home can be just as exciting as it is upsetting. It enables parents to finally have more ‘me time’, allowing couples to recapture the moments they shared before they had children. As Paula Hall says, “it is a time of new beginnings.”
FemaleFirst: Fiona Haran.