Looking good Batman: Arkham City
Remember the days when you would run around in the street with your mums black tights on and a coat hung around your neck, throwing various cardboard items at your neighbours from your dad’s utility belt? No? Then neither do I. What I do remember however, was the latest Batman film ‘The Dark Knight’, which made everyone go crazier for Batman than ‘Joker’ on speed and took any hope for originality out of Halloween costumes for the at least the next ten years.
Draining from this hype like a filthy successful leech came one of my favourite games of last year ‘Batman: Arkham Asylum’. Sneaking through the shadows, stalking people and throwing sharp metal objects no longer had to be a chore; the game did incredibly well in capturing the authentic Lycra wearing feel, so you don’t have to wear your mum’s tights anymore.
With the arrival of Arkham City slowly creeping up on us, it seems people are about to go bat crazy all over again, for what looks like another great game. However, in the past, the Batman franchise hasn’t had as much success as it would like on the computer games side of things, here are some examples of forgotten failings from Batman.
BATMAN FOREVER
Following the success of the Tim Burton film of the same name, ‘Batman Forever’ stumbled onto our telegameconsoles in 1995. In this game, you controlled ‘Batman’ (what a surprise) whilst he staggered about, battering thugs with stupid names like ‘Mad Dan’, in inexplicable question mark filled worlds. I say ‘controlled’ lightly, as controlling Batman in this game often felt like mashing nine non-existent buttons on the pad whilst consecutively turning the volume down on your television with your feet, all whilst blindfolded and not even in the same room as the television set.
BATMAN: REVENGE OF THE JOKER
‘Batman: Revenge of the joker’ was wonderfully terrible. The final boss was a giant robot Joker, that at one point you had to attack on the flying ‘Bat-cycle’. Why not the Batmobile? You ask. Who cares!? I answer. If you died in this game, which it was incredibly easy to do, the game mechanics would reward you by making you start the whole tedious game from the very beginning.
Interesting fact: My mum says that once I vomited because this game was so awful. FACT.
MAN BEYOND, RETURN OF THE JOKER
To be honest, I don’t even know why the developers bothered making this game at all, this terrible piece of work pissed the kids off at Christmas more than if the developers were to go down to the local park and smash up the swings. Four boring and short levels, boring artwork, boring animal based friendliness and also a massive amount of guilt when you don’t know how to tell dad that the present he got you for Christmas was rubbish.
BATMAN (1990)
One of the first ‘Batman’ games that we ever had the pleasure of experiencing in 1990 on the NES, was ‘Batman’ (original name). Considered a classic of its time, Batman strolls, rolls and hops like a madman whilst punching criminals in the face and making them literally explode. On further thought, there is no explanation of why Batman is actually making these men explode in the carefree attitude he appears to adopt towards death. These men could have families of their own, you arrogant bastard Batman.
Female First Edward Lewis
Tagged in Batman