It's almost impossible to have an internet presence these days and not have to suffer trolls and keyboard warriors. It's not too much of a big deal for a lot of us; we just laugh at them, retaliate and get on with our lives safe in the knowledge that we are right. Right? But maybe there's another way of dealing with negative comments.
Patton Oswalt at the 2014 Film Independent Spirit Awards / Photo Credit: NYPW/Famous
Patton Oswalt hit headlines last week after responding to a biting comment on Twitter with astounding generosity rather than dry wit - which is, of course, what the comedian is known for. And the fact that he took a moment to take in the circumstances of the man attacking him rather than going by his initial instinct of retaliation and dismissal has made the world of difference.
It started when the 50-year-old responded to Trump's Tweet "Build a wall [and] crime will fall". He wrote: "You like pomes? I like pomes too! Here's a pome I wroted: Roses are red, Tommy Shaw was in Styx, You're going to resign, Eat a bucket of d***s."
While Patton got plenty of praise for his clapback from fans, one man wasn't happy about this particular "poem".
"I just realized why I was so happy you died in Blade Trinity!" Wrote Michael Beatty. Patton hit back with his usual brand of humour, but then took a moment to get to know the man who had criticized him and realised just what he was going through.
Beatty's Twitter feed showed that he was a Vietnam veteran attempting to raise $5,000 on GoFundMe to pay off medical bills after he spent two weeks in hospital suffering from sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis and even going into a coma.
"Aw, man. This dude just attacked me on Twitter and I joked back but then I looked at his timeline and he's in a LOT of trouble health-wise", Patton wrote. "I'd be p****d off too. He's been dealt some sh***y cards - let's deal him some good ones. Click and donate - just like I'm about to."
He went on to donate $2,000, inspiring thousands more to donate and show their support in other ways and now Beatty has managed to raise more than $46,000. Now not only is Beatty able to pay off his medical debt, the gesture has also forced him to re-evaluate how he treats people.
"You have humbled me to the point where I can barely compose my words", he responded. "You have caused me to take pause and reflect on how harmful words from my mouth could result in such an outpouring."
The story reminded us of a similar situation a little over a year ago. Sarah Silverman was branded a "c**t" by a Twitter user, but before responding she glanced at his timeline which showed a man struggling with mental health issues as well as painful back problems. She chose to reach out with love.
"I believe in you", she wrote. "I read your timeline and I see what your doing and your rage is thinly veiled pain. But you know that. I know this feeling. P.S. My back f***ing sucks too. See what happens when you choose love. I see it in you."
She might've have expected derision, or a half-hearted apology at best. What she probably wasn't expecting was for the man to confess his financial struggles and that he had suffered sexual abuse as a child. Her fans followed in her footsteps and showered support on this man, with Sarah appealing to her followers for someone willing to help him with his back issues for free. Naturally, he was moved to genuine remorse for his own hurtful comment.
But it's not just Twitter that's full of humbling stories about fighting negativity with humility; history shows us many people who have tackled hatred in a similar way. Blues musician Daryl Davis made history in the 90s by befriending members of the Ku Klux Klan, even getting close enough to Grand Dragon Roger Kelly to name him his daughter's godfather.
He used logic and reason to turn a lot of troubled young white men away from racism, undoing sometimes years of brainwashing and dismantly the Maryland KKK group, and he never showed anger even when he was forced to defend himself against physical attacks.
A similar situation happened in the UK around 2010 when Ivan Humble of nationalist group the English Defence League (EDL) met a former jihadist named Manwar Ali. Ivan had been confused when he heard that a group of Muslims wanted to have a meeting with EDL members, but when he finally listened to them first-hand, he realised just how much of his beliefs were based on unwarranted assumptions. He left the EDL, Manwar became a friend for life, and now he speaks at workshops about what drives people to join hate groups.
The moral of the story is we don't have to let our political affiliations divide us. All of us are suffering in one way or another and we are all just looking for a different person or group of people to blame it on. Instead of arguing about who's fault it is though, we should be raising each other up and proving why love helps us progress far more than prejudice.
MORE: Is restorative justice the answer to eradicating prejudice and hate crime?
So next time you're confronted with a vicious comment on Facebook or Twitter, take a moment to register where that voice is coming from and then decide whether or not you are going to change their mind by helping them out in any way you can, or cement their views by fighting fire with fire.
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