On 31st March 2017, Leigh Howes found out that she had breast cancer. As a successful Executive Leadership Coach and Business Strategist (www.leighhowes.com) and a mum of two, her diagnosis meant she had to re-think everything. This is her take on how having breast cancer changed her perspective for all areas of her life:
Leigh Howes
31 March 2017.
"We have had your results back and they are positive"
As I stared across the table at the breast consultant, I was momentarily confused. "Positive" I thought, that's got to be good surely? However, out of my mouth, came a very shaky "what does that mean?" His response...."I'm afraid it's cancer."
Every sentence we all fear. Me included. I sat with my head in my hands, shocked to the core. I had become in that split second, a new statistic, a sob story that would be shared amongst others. My heart broke in two.
Those of you reading this who have had life changing moments will no doubt agree that over time, trauma brings with it a massive spoonful of perspective.
All the things that I thought were important, I realised were just immaterial. The way your hair looks, the clothes you think you don’t have, the house you live in, the car you drive. All that I could think of in that moment were my young boys and my family and I had the strongest pull to get better.
It was also this perspective that was the brains behind my famous happiness list that has been the catalyst for change for many of the business leaders I support.
I realised as I navigated the next few days and weeks that followed that for too long, I hadn’t been doing enough of what made me happy. I rarely put the oxygen mask on and looked after me first and I realised I was too often set in the motion of ‘doing’ because survival and overwhelm has a habit of taking over without you realising.
Too many of us are clinging on to the hamster wheel in ‘safe mode’ – despite there being that niggle that you are here for a purpose, that you have more to do, to give – ignoring that something is not quite ticking the happiness box in life/work. To step off would mean taking a chance and well, it is safer to stay where you are right?
That is the biggest thing that cancer taught me. No-one was going to change things for me, I had to. If I wanted to be happier, it was down to me, if I wanted to achieve more of my potential, it was down to me. If I didn’t want to do something, it was my boundaries that needed getting in check. I had to be the change I needed to see.
“A ship is safe in the harbour – but that is not what ships are made for”
- John.A.Shedd -
During a recent check up with my oncologist, a memory came back to me.
I recall sitting in the waiting room very early in my journey in my hair system and noticing a beautiful woman with her husband.
I couldn’t help but notice her confidence, ease, and energy. She looked healthy and well and I felt a jolt of optimism hit me. I overheard some of their conversation so knew she was in for her check-up. Watching her inspired me, it made me feel hopeful for my outcome.
You see when you are at the foot of the mountain staring up, the climb feels so overwhelming. But when you see something inspiring at its peak, it gives you something to hang your hat on. Something to strive for. This woman gave this to me.
I kept the image of her and focused on the step I needed to take that day, the next and the days thereafter.
Before you realise It, you too are at the peak of the mountain. You don't realise how far you have come until you look back and see the view. If you have been conscious and awake along the way, you will have also enjoyed a big chunk of the journey and its gifts and learnings; even when at times it felt impossible.
My mountain felt overwhelming too. But I focused on the baby steps and made sure I dug deep and looked up as much as possible to learn and grow through the adversity I was handed. Now I’m stood near the peak and I am told that others are now using me as their hope to climb.
I’ve several other mountains around me that I’m focusing on now by choice in my business, but the principles remain the same. Have the vision, be emotionally attached to the goal - but then focus on the small step you need to take today. Before you know it, you will look behind at the view and realise that you too are almost at the top.
If I can do it - so, can you. Just do me one favour. Be sure to keep your head up and enjoy as much of the journey along the way as you can.
RELATED: The importance of healing yourself to stop self sabotage by business coach Sam Evans
Have you ever found yourself finding excuses as to why you can’t do something or shouldn’t? When the reasoning weighs so heavily on our minds, we don’t take any action and give up on the thing we had once considered doing. This is called self-sabotage and comes in many forms, but there is now a consensus that if we want to live our best lives, then we need to step out of our own way to get things done. Stemming from a lack of confidence or self-belief, if you’re suffering from self-sabotage – Sam Evans, an intuitive Business Coach specialising in emotional intelligence, (www.samevansglobal.com) - believes it’s important to heal your self-sabotaging behaviour for you to live the life you want...
