Jade Goody's mother has apologised for not being a "better mum" to her late daughter because of her drug addiction.
Jade Goody
Jackiey Budden has penned an open letter to Jade - who passed away six years ago after losing her battle with cervical cancer - to say sorry for the way she behaved when she was growing up.
Speaking about her crack cocaine addiction, she wrote: "With tears running down your face, you'd beg me to stop [the drugs], but I couldn't. I feel so guilty. I'm sorry, Jade. I wish I'd been a better mum."
Claiming she believes her daughter - who found fame on 'Big Brother' - went on the reality show to "escape" her real life in the letter published in Closer magazine, Jackiey continued: "I cringed when you got drunk and stripped naked. But I realised something - you didn't go into the house for fame or money, it was to escape your life. I never gave you a proper childhood."
However, the 57-year-old grandmother - who is now attempting to make up for her past actions by playing an active part in the lives of Jade's children Bobby and Freddie with Jeff Brazier's - has confessed seeing her late daughter's bravery in the face of cancer inspired her to be a better person.
Insisting she won't give up for the sake of Bobby, 11, and Freddy, 10, she said: "Jade, I'm sorry for the times I let you down. I've been clean from drugs for 12 years now and won't ever go back to that time.
"I want to be there for the boys, and I will never let them forget you. You were an amazing mum. I wish I could have been more like you."
Jackiey went on to claim she was never more proud of Jade - who also left behind husband Jack Tweed - than in the months before her death in 2009.
She added: "Thousands of people gathered for your funeral. I was bursting with pride. But then it felt like the lights went out ... I've found it hard to cope without you, Jade."
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