Stand up is the best and worst thing for my mental health, if it goes well there is no better feeling in the world and when it doesn’t it feels like there’s nothing worse, time stops when you bomb, you can see every wrinkle of the audience members face crinkling in revulsion at your deluded attempts to make them laugh, they hate you so much you hate you.
Red Richardson
Gigs like that are awful and usually involve a long train journey home where you occasionally catch a glimpse of your own reflection in the window and then vomit. I did a gig last week in Margate where I bombed probably worse than I ever have, I had to wait for a lift home so had to sit in this tiny room with people who hated me for another hour. At one point as I was on the loo and I could hear people slagging off my act, I turned on the taps and hand dryer to drown their voices out.
A good gig is just brilliant and that's why comedy is so addictive- the highs and lows make it always interesting and nerve wracking. The sound of 200 or so people laughing at every word you say is so euphoric, for that time on stage everything else disappears, you forget all your problems and basically float. It's gigs like this that make me need gigs like the one in Margate, because if every gig was good, I was convince myself I could fly and jump off a building.
Comedy is a gamble, there is no pension scheme and no real method or recipe for success, if you fail you're left with nothing and that keeps you up at night but is also a great motivator to work hard and try and stay creative.
I love stand-up comedy and doing it as a job is brilliant, so bad gigs aside- its very good for me to do something that I enjoy so much for a living. Its feels free and I don't have to get up too early which is great because I love to sleep; you also meet some really great people (fucking awful ones too) but people with a shared sense of purpose who love the same thing you do.
Overall, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but as I type this I am getting ready to go to Southampton for a show so might have a totally different opinion by about 10 pm tonight.
Red Richardson’s new stand up show ‘Shots Fired’ will be at the Pleasance Courtyard Bunker One for the month of August, for tickets go to www.edfringe.com