Character comedian, Kat Bond imagines her ultimate fantasy Edinburgh Fringe day...and her worst nightmare day.
Kat Bond
Fantasy day
08.00 - Get up despite being up til 3am, as I don't need much sleep.8.30 - Have my own en-suite so nip in the shower without a queue.
9am - Eat a breakfast of fresh fruit to really kick start the day.
9.30 - Go for a jog around the city to get myself physically and mentally prepped to perform to my sell-out room. 11.00 - Go see some shows - mainly world theatre just to really expand my mind. 12.00 - Eat healthy lunch mainly green things.1pm - Meet director for notes. Doesn't take long! He's crying with happiness.
2pm - Go and do a perfect a really articulate interview in which I really think you show my personality and sell my show.
4pm - Go sit and mentally and physically prep for show, drinking and eating just the right amount to feel present and
5pm - Deep in an enlightening meditation
5.45 - Do show it's a corker!
6.45 - Celebratory champagne with new chums until early hours.Worst Nightmare Day
8.00 - In bed.
10.30 - in bed.
11.00 - Go see some shows - mainly world theatre just to really expand my mind.
11.00 - Rise slowly and check phone immediately in a panic. Turn to see my roommate (sharing because it's cheaper) snoring. Isn't she supposed to be in a children's show at midday?
12.00 - Wait for shower - with 9 roommates this can take a long time.
1pm - Have a cold shower. Run out of shower gel.
2pm - Eat some cereal with questionably dated milk.
3pm - Go pick up your flyers - it's raining you've sold one ticket and that's your uncle Dave who funded this whole affair.
4pm - Get trapped in conversation with an overly enthusiastic student group doing Macbeth the musical.
5pm - Eat a burger despite being vegan for 3 years.
5.45 - Do show it's a duffer.
6.45 - Miserable double whiskey with uncle Dave who asks for money back.
7.00 - Go back to bed.
8.00 - Bed.
9.00 - Eat a pot noodle in bed.
10.00 - Bed.
11-3 - In bed open mouthed having anxiety dreams.
Kat Bond's debut solo Edinburgh Fringe show, 'Loo Roll', will be at the Pleasance Courtyard (Pleasance That) 2-28 August at 5.45pm, for tickets go to https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/kat-bond-loo-roll