I found out a few years back that I almost definitely have ADD in some form or another. I was in Australia and 15 minutes prior I’d necked a ‘Dexy’, that being the slang term for an ADHD medication that people take recreationally out there. The desired effect as a party drug is to wake you up, give you a boost and make you chatty (all of which happened) but another side effect for me was a remarkable clarity of thought and focus. My mind got decluttered in exactly the way it was supposed to where I am taking it on a prescription. I (like many others have I’m sure) had a light bulb moment at this point.
Mile McCabe by Steve Ullathorne
Comedy was a perfect fit for me from the beginning. After uni I interned at a PR company, got promoted and then quit a well-paid job out of boredom six months later with no plans at all. I found work playing drums in a covers band which then turned into a professional career touring big festivals with an established band but even THAT started to feel repetitive.
At the time I’d just started doing open spots at comedy clubs for no money and that was a completely different story. I would start getting a buildup of adrenaline weeks before a gig, made worthwhile by a tidal wave of ecstatic relief once the gig was over. Then as I got better, my dopamine rush would come from having gotten a good crowd response. But it is and always has been varied and exciting enough to keep me onboard.
Dying onstage is actually one of the healthiest things that can happen to you. It’s a real-life worst-case scenario that anyone considering a career in comedy is going to experience at some point and most likely multiple times. The death of the ego is considered a massive breakthrough in the world of therapy and psychedelics and as a comic you get to go through that process in a brutal four-dimensional public reality.
I get to go through my life knowing that beyond the classic tragedies of life, no single event will be as horrendous as performing at Guilfest in 2010. I bounded cockily up to the stage in the middle of my first great run of form as a comic with zero nerves at all and launched into my wonderful set. A stoned and sunburnt awkward silence from the crowd turned to ironic chuckles then grimaces of naked disdain. Horrible but ultimately a wonderful perspective leveler.
My worst onstage deaths have been around the times I started to think I was better than I actually was. A hit to the ego, processed correctly, is one of the best things that can happen to a person as it gives you an opportunity to address issues and evolve. It hurts but it’s supposed to and if you want to progress as a comic blaming the crowd is the worst thing you can do.
Comedy is by its nature a bipolar existence of roller coaster emotions that asks a lot of anyone undertaking it socially, financially, and emotionally. It suits me because it’s hard and demanding but has a seemingly never-ending improvement curve, both in terms of skill and opportunities. You don’t have to deal with a boss (which is wonderful for anyone’s mental health) but being self-employed you do have a deal to strike with your inner slavedriver.
I realised over lockdown and the lack of live shows therein how much I relied on audience response for validation, with a big gaping hole where my self-worth should have been. I still do! I'm not the only one and it’s great that there’s the perfect job for all of us insecure attention seekers out there.
One of the other great things about doing comedy is the messages that sometimes come in from people…people who have been through a rough time but something about your set that night briefly turned them around, cheered them up and maybe helped them round a corner. It helps remind you that there’s a little more to the job than just being daft for money and also brings you back to the point that it’s all about making a crowd of strangers laugh. That can be useful when you are finding yourself bogged down in career politics or some other shenanigans.
Ultimately, I get to do a job I love that has sent me all over the world to meet interesting people and have memorable things happen, which is wonderful for anyone’s mental health. The fact that I strongly suspect I NEED that to feel OK makes me feel very lucky indeed.
About Milo McCabe
Award winning comedian Milo McCabe returns to the Fringe with his alter-ego Troy Hawke, the 1930’s matinee idol comedic investigator, in a brand-new show ‘Sigmund Troy’d!’ to the Underbelly. This show has already won him Best Show at this year’s Leicester Comedy Awards. At the last fringe in 2019 his critically show ‘Tiles of the Unexpected!’ was one of the best reviewed shows and a total sell out.
Raised and home schooled in her favourite era by his overprotective mother, Troy was finally released into the world and now dedicates his time to uncovering everyday dangers and conspiracies that other people seem to take for granted.
Last year he found the nefarious link between IKEA, the Nazis and Kanye West. Now 1930’s throwback home-schooled investigator Troy Hawke returns to battle a new enemy on behalf of all people everywhere…PSYCHOTHERAPY!
Troy Hawke creator Milo McCabe trained to be a psychotherapist before abandoning his studies to pursue comedy. This show is an affectionate reverse love-letter reflecting the effectiveness of therapy as well as all the reasons clients will find to avoid the home truths they really need to hear.
It takes in Imposter Syndrome, narcissistic parents, helpers high, denial and displacement via a system of scrabble-based numerology and ‘character comedy at its best’.
As Troy Hawke, Milo McCabe has delivered numerous viral videos which have subsequently led to sell out national and international tours. Performing in character, he also headlines all the major comedy clubs in the UK and later this year he plans to tour six different countries in Europe.
His stand-up and hidden camera clips have millions of views across various social media platforms and he has just completed a sold-out UK tour. Recently Milo (as Troy) had a fight in a cage in Liverpool and got knocked out…. But now he is back up and ready to take on the Edinburgh Fringe Festival!
Title of Show: Troy Hawke: Sigmund Troy’d!
Venue: Underbelly – Jersey Room
Time: 7.00pm
Dates: 3rd – 28th August (except 15th)
Previews: 3rd & 4th August