Troian Bellisario's battle with anorexia "almost killed" her.
Troian Bellisario
The 'Pretty Little Liars' star has revealed there was one point in her life when she was just eating 300 calories a day and whilst she is now ten years in recovery, she admits it "still finds insidious ways to thwart me to this day".
She shared: "There is a part of my brain that defies logic. Once, it completely convinced me I should live off 300 calories a day, and at some point, it told me even that was too much. That part of my brain is my disease, and there was a time when it had absolute authority over me.
"It almost killed me, and you can see that even though I have lived in recovery for ten years now, it still finds loads of fun, insidious ways to thwart me to this day. It was a difficult journey finding my way back to health. Through hard introspection, intense medical and mental care, a supportive family, friends, and a patient and loving partner, I survived, which is rare.
"But I don't want to just survive that part of my life. I want to create in rebellion. I want to stop looking at the clocks. I wanna get paint all over the floor and build a wall of feedback in the amp so loud that it starts a mosh pit as I scream back in the face of my disease: I AM ENOUGH! (sic)"
However, the 31-year-old actress says writing, producing and acting has helped her on the road to recovery.
Writing for Lenny Letter, she added: "Writing, producing, and acting in it helped me to get one more degree of separation from my disease in what I know will be a lifetime of work in recovery.
"It is my greatest hope that someone watching it, struggling with the same challenges I do, might think, What if I were enough too? So with all the courage I can muster, I give it to you, I give it to that one person, in hopes that it could make them feel enough. Maybe by the time you see it, I will have gotten out of the cold water and be warming myself in the sun."
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