Sean 'Diddy' Combs says losing Kim Porter still "hurts so much".
Sean 'Diddy' Combs
The 'Last Night' hitmaker tragically lost his former girlfriend - with whom he had Christian, 21, and 12-year-old twins D'Lila and Jessie - in November 2018 when she passed away from pneumonia.
And as the family's first Mother's Day - which will be celebrated in America on Sunday (12.05.19) - without Kim approaches, the rapper says he knows the annual holiday is "going to hurt".
Speaking in audio released by Essence magazine from their interview with Diddy, he said: "Mother's Day is going to hurt. We definitely are going to celebrate all the mothers. We're not going to get in the way of that. Honestly, anybody that has lost a mother or lost a soulmate - it takes time. It takes time. They say time heals all wounds when it comes to mothers ... I don't think that's the case. That's not a negative thing because as people, we need wounds. You need something to sting you sometimes and keep you on point and teach you a lesson."
The 49-year-old music mogul - who also helped to raise Kim's son Quincy, 27, from a past relationship - then became emotional as he spoke about the pain of losing his ex-partner.
He added while crying: "I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to figure something out though. This hurts so much. I know that people want to hear the good stuff, but it hurts and there ain't no way around that."
Diddy explained he wanted to do the interview to let "everybody know how special all the mothers are," but said it was difficult for him to find any positives in his heartbreaking loss.
And since the passing of Kim almost six months ago, the 'I'll Be Missing You' rapper has been learning how to "tap into [his] feminine side" in order to be both a father and a mother to his brood.
Speaking to Essence, he said: "Nothing came before my family before, but of course there would be a couple of dates I would miss or some things I would miss because I was so into my work. I always loved them as a father, but from a mother's perspective, the kids come first and that's it. It's nothing else that really matters from a mother's perspective.
"I immediately had the lens of a mother. The lens of me as a father was combined with the lens of a mother. I had to immediately tap into my feminine side and that protective side ... I never actually felt emotions like this. My heart was never open like this. I never had my senses like this. It's been crazy from that point, but I just knew that she was training me for this and I wasn't scared."
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