Rob Delaney worried he wouldn't "like or bond" with his baby son.
Rob Delaney
The 'Catastrophe' actor's two-year-old son Henry died of cancer in January 2018, and he admitted the tragedy left him concerned throughout wife Leah's pregnancy that he would be too "afraid" to get close to their fourth child when he was born late last year.
Rob - who also has two older sons, aged seven and six, with his wife - admitted "I knew that I would 'love' him.
"But I didn't know if I would like him or bond with him, 'cause I didn't know if I would be too afraid to."
Thankfully, the feeling went a few weeks after the baby was born but Rob admitted the period was a "totally insane" time but thinks it must have been much harder on his wife.
He told New York magazine: "How do you go to your own child's funeral when you're pregnant?
"I would like to carve a large bronze monument in the centre of town for her not going on a killing spree or picking up police cars and throwing them through windows."
The 42-year-old star is usually very private about his personal life but felt it was important he broke the news of Henry's death himself via Twitter.
He said: "There was no way for me to not go insane and I wanted to be in charge of how that information got out there."
Rob admitted that, while people may not realise, he is still grieving "all the time" and spends time every day talking and thinking about Henry.
He said: "If you observe me through a telephoto lens or something, you might not know that I'm grieving all the time.
"I'll have a memory and start to cry sometimes. Or I'll look at my watch and notice it's coming around the time when I would have changed his tracheotomy dressing for the day, and I'll be sad I'm not doing that.
"He's absolutely still my son, and he commands a big percentage of my attention each day. So I just try to not resist that or hate it or fear it. He's my son. I loved him when he was alive. I still love him and talk to him and think about him every day."
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