Riley Keough "couldn't get out of bed" for months after her brother died.
Riley Keough
The 32-year-old actress admitted she was "totally debilitated" after Benjamin Keough took his own life at the age of 27 in July 2020 and she was barely able to function for some time after his passing.
She told the New York Times newspaper: "[It's been] a year of feeling like I was thrown into the ocean and couldn't swim.
"The first four or five months, I couldn't get out of bed. I was totally debilitated. I couldn't talk for two weeks."
The 'Zola' star is still struggling to process her brother's death because it was such an "outrageous" event.
She explained: "It's very complicated for our minds to put that somewhere because it's so outrageous.
"If I'm going through a break up, I know what to do with that and where to file it in my mind, but suicide of your brother? Where do you put that? How does that integrate? It just doesn't."
Riley has sought support from her friends and family, including husband Ben Smith-Petersen.
She said: "I wanted to make sure that I was feeling everything and I wasn't running from anything."
The 'Runaways' star revealed earlier this year she'd trained as a death doula and she admitted it's been helpful with her grief knowing she can reach out to support others in a similar position.
She said: "That's really what's helped me, being able to put myself in a position of service. If I can help other people, maybe I can find some way to help myself."
Riley recently admitted she still has "hard days" as she grieves for her brother but she's doing her best to live in the moment and be appreciative of the good things in her life.
She said: "I'm really consciously trying to be present, and not use anything as any kind of escape, and be cognisant of when I'm doing that.
"I'm just generally trying to be grateful for everything at the moment, trying to operate in love, and keep my heart open, and give and receive love.
"And not in a woo-woo way, because I definitely have hard days, and all kinds of pain and suffering and all that.
"But I think when you realise that's part of it, and your expectation isn't to just be feeling joy, that's been a real shift for me in finding those moments and things to smile about."
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