Professor Green choked up when he recalled his father's tragic suicide as he collected his prize at the Mind Charity Media Awards in London on Monday night (14.11.16).
Professor Green at Mind Charity Media Awards
The 'Read All About It' hitmaker struggled to hold back the tears as he picked up the Making a Difference gong in recognition of his 'Suicide and Me' documentary, which took the rapper on a journey to uncover the reason behind his dad Peter Manderson's death seven years ago, as he believed the situation was somewhat "bittersweet."
Taking to the stage at the end of the ceremony, which was hosted by retired England cricketer Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff MBE, the 32-year-old stat said: "I get awkward when I've got to talk to a room full of people and it's not talking quickly to be a beat.
"When we started out making 'Suicide And Me', the idea for the programme was that it was going to be a broad take on male suicide, it wasn't going to be my story and then when the BBC came to me and said the strongest thread here is your story, I was petrified. I didn't want people to see me cry, to see me in a vulnerable state and then I realised that was the problem. Men put on this bravado, We haven't caught up yet emotionally. We still feel like we've got to be so f***ing hard all the time.
"And, actually, there's some real strength to be taken in just admitting when you do feel vulnerable. There's something I learnt from the programme was just that the difference between someone who will do what my dad sadly did and someone who won't is the ability to tolerate their feelings. My dad sadly couldn't anymore and I'd be lying if this award, winning it, isn't a bit bitter sweet because I wouldn't be here if my dad hadn't took his own life. But if any good can come from a bad situation is that by me being here using my voice, hopefully we can stop someone suffering like he did."
Pro Green - real name is Stephen Manderson - recently admitted that, although he's never thought about taking his own life, he's felt feelings of depression in the past.
He said at the time of his documentary: "I think there's a genetic link with depression and suicide. My dad did it and his brother did it. I haven't yet had suicidal thoughts although there have been a lot of dark, difficult days over the years."
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