Nikki Bella is worried fans will "hate" her because she suffered with postpartum depression.
Nikki Bella
The 'Total Bellas' star - who welcomed son Matteo, her first child with fiancé Artem Chigvintsev, into the world in July - admitted she feels apprehensive about her struggles being laid bare in the new season of her reality show because she's concerned viewers won't "understand" what she went through when they see her "falling apart".
She said: "It was really hard on me and it’s gonna be hard with ‘Total Bellas’ because I still was filming and I recently watched the two episodes and I go, ‘Brie, I’m gonna be hated because what if people don’t understand postpartum depression?’ Like, you completely see me just falling apart as a human being and as a mom.”
However, the former wrestler thinks it's important for viewers to see how she really felt.
She said: "I want to put it out there because it’s a real thing. And I like to show how people around you adapt to that and how you can help yourself.”
The 37-year-old star thinks postpartum depression isn't discussed very much because new mothers are worried about being judged.
Speaking to Ashley Graham on her 'Pretty Big Deal' podcast, she said: "What I’ve realised is, as moms, we don’t talk about that enough because I think we feel like everyone then automatically thinks we hate our baby if we say we have postpartum depression, which, that’s not it at all.
“It’s totally the battle within yourself, within your partner [or] significant other. Especially, I think, for career women.
“We go from like these major careers and then we’re here. And then I’m looking in the mirror and then I think us, in the spotlight, we have so much pressure on us to get back to where we were in a short amount of time."
Ashley - who has 11-month-old son Isaac with husband Justin Ervin - agreed about the expectations of "the snapback" and branded the idea "bulls***".
Nikki agreed: "It messes with you. Literally, someone the other day was like, ‘Gosh, she’s still big!’ and I was like ‘Excuse me?'”
Fortunately, Nikki's twin sister, Brie Bella, has helped her to accept her post-baby physique.
She explained: "She makes me, like, grab parts of my body I don’t like and then I say, like, ‘Thank you for creating Matteo and making him healthy.'
"And [I’m] appreciating and loving my body.”
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