Michelle Heaton blamed herself when her baby son contracted meningitis.
Michelle Heaton
The Liberty X singer underwent a double mastectomy in 2012 after she found out she was a carrier of the faulty BRCA2 gene and she has admitted she thought it was her fault her son AJ, now four, developed the disease, which can kill in hours if it's not caught and treated in time, because she was unable to breastfeed him.
Speaking to Stella magazine, she said: "The midwives placed him on my chest and he began to root for milk. I felt awful because I couldn't feed him.
"Then at six weeks he got meningitis, which I convinced myself was due to a weakened immune system because I hadn't breastfed him. The guilt was immense and I developed postnatal depression.
"I knew logically that I shouldn't feel guilty, but at the time I felt so hormonal and emotional after everything I had been though and still had to go through."
A few months later, the 38-year-old pop star opted for a full hysterectomy because she had been told she had a 30 per cent chance of developing ovarian cancer.
Michelle - who also has six-year-old daughter Faith with her husband Hugh Hanley -
explained: "I was only 35 and my periods stopped immediately. I can't sleep. I feel irritable and I have mood swings. Everything takes that bit more effort and I get very tired. I struggle with my libido and my hair is thinning. And I lack confidence, in terms of how I look and how good a mum or wife I am."
Although it was heartbreaking to go through the operation, Michelle has admitted it was an easy decision to make because she wanted to see her kids grow up.
She said: "Removing a healthy part of me that was nourishing my baby felt wrong, but if I didn't remove them there was a chance - a high chance - I wouldn't be around for my child. It was a no-brainer."
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