Meghan Trainor fell into a "deep hole of depression" after she was forced to undergo surgery on her vocal chords.
Meghan Trainor
The 24-year-old singer went under the knife for vocal surgery in 2016 for a second time after previously having a haemorrhaged vocal chord repaired in 2015, and she has now revealed she was left feeling anxious and depressed as she feared her career as a singer was over.
She said: "I thought, 'My God, is it going to be over for me for ever?' I fell into a crazy, deep hole of depression and anxiety."
The 'Dear Future Husband' hitmaker - who is engaged to 'Spy Kids' actor Daryl Sabara - detailed her battle with her mental health, which made her feel "alone" and "terrified".
She explained: "When I had an episode it would last for three days. I was crippled and had this pain. Eventually I was going to doctors, psychologists and therapists and I was like, 'My back feels like someone has a flame to it, I'm not sure if I'm going crazy.' And I'm feeling like I'm crazy, losing my mind.
"I remember standing in [US pharmacy] CVS with my friend in line and I saw the whole back row behind her move, when she didn't.
"You know, moments like that I had, dissociation with your body and you think you're schizophrenic - you're seeing things.
"I was sitting in my bathroom and the lights turned yellow. In those moments, you're terrified, you feel alone.
"You feel like there's something wrong with you and you're embarrassed to talk about it. No one can help you. It's your brain. It's chemicals."
And the star only realised what was wrong when she visited the doctor's after believing she was suffering an allergic reaction.
She added: "I went to the emergency room one night, because I thought I was allergic to what I ate. My throat was closing and I was having trouble breathing. They told me, 'This is a full-blown panic attack.' I said, 'What do you mean?' 'This is your brain tricking you. '"
Meghan has since been seeking professional help and whilst she is still in therapy, she admits she's feeling much better.
She told The Sun's 'The Dan Wootton Interview' podcast: "The hardest part is when you're in the middle of it and truly believe there is no way this will ever end - 'I'm going to be stuck like this for ever' - and I believed that, until I slowed down with my anxiety and it stopped happening 24 hours a day.
"It was only like an hour. I was like, 'Wow, I have some control now.' Your brain is another person and you have to have a relationship with it.
"It took months - I'm still in therapy. I would see my therapist once a week and I started working out a lot and that really helped me.
"I take a lot of vitamins - I love Bulletproof vitamins. They've even got stuff for your eyes. I drank a gallon of water a day, sometimes more, for months now."
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