Mariah Carey's childhood Christmases were "always" spoiled by "dysfunctional family members".
Mariah Carey cover Elle digital edition
The 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' hitmaker - who has nine-year-old twins Moroccan and Monroe with ex-husband Nick Cannon - has recalled how "a lot of very bad stuff" happened to her when she was 12.
However, despite her unhappy experiences during the festive period as a kid, Mariah never lost hope and always dreamed of having a "perfect" Christmas.
And that's why every year since she split from her first husband, Tommy Mottola, in 1998 after a brief marriage, she's splashed out on making Christmas extravagant for her own family.
Speaking to Elle for their special digital holiday issue - of which she's the cover star - Mariah said: "After I kind of emerged from my first relationship-slash-marriage [to Tommy Mottola] I created the Christmases that I wanted to have.
"A lot of very bad stuff happened to me when I was 12. But also, there is the spirit of that kid, that fighter who doesn't give up, who does embrace who she is, even though the world didn't understand that from my point of view."
She added: "I think it's just that longing that I had as a child, that I always wanted things to be perfect for the holidays.
And they never were. It was always somebody ruining the moment, always these dysfunctional family members who came around and foiled everything."
Mariah's 'Magical Christmas Special' hits Apple TV+ this week, and she wanted to create a "celebratory moment" amid the coronavirus pandemic.
She said: "It's been such a hard year, and I really feel like people so need a celebratory moment. At every turn, it's like, 'We can't be [together]; you can't celebrate. This is cancelled; that's cancelled."
The 51-year-old singer recently admitted she doesn't care if people mock her love of Christmas.
The 'We Belong Together' hitmaker said: "I know it’s like ‘HA HA she loves Christmas', no I literally do...
"I know people are like ‘you love Christmas!’ and they make fun of me but it’s okay because I do. I actually do. It’s what I love."
Tagged in Mariah Carey