Maisie Williams had a "traumatic" relationship with her father which cast a shadow over her childhood.
Maisie Williams has opened up about her difficult childhood
The former 'Game of Thrones' star's mother "escaped" the relationship when she was "about four months old", but the 25-year-old actress still went through a lot of "pain [and] fear" while not realising the behaviour she was exposed to was "wrong".
She said: "“Well, I, as a young child before the age of, like, eight, had a traumatic relationship with my dad. And I don’t want to go into it too much because it affects my siblings and my whole family.
“But, like, that really consumed a lot of my childhood. Ever since I can remember, I’ve really struggled sleeping.
“I think a lot of the traumatic things that were happening, I didn’t realise they were wrong. But I knew – I would look around at other kids and be like, ‘Why don’t they seem to understand this pain, or dread, or fear? Where does the joy – when does that come for me?’
“When I was about eight I was really struggling. It had met its peak and when I was at school I was take
Things came to a head when the Daisie founder was eight and, on being questioned by a teacher, opened up about her home life.
She broke down in tears as she recalled on the 'Diary of a CEO' podcast: “When I was about eight I was really struggling. It had met its peak and when I was at school I was taken by a teacher to the staff room. She asked me what had happened.
“She asked me if I ate breakfast, I said no, and asked if I did most mornings. I said no. They were asking the right questions. My mum came to school and picked me up. It was the first time that all of the doors were open and it was the first time things were on the table.”
But the actress was "indocrinated" and couldn't understand why she was then separated from her father.
She said: “I still wanted to fight and say these things aren’t wrong, that you’re just trying to take me away from my dad.
“I was indoctrinated in a way. I think that’s why I’m obsessed with cults. Because I’m, like, I get it. I get it. I was in a child cult."
Ultimately, the 'New Mutants' actress was relieved she didn't have to see her father anymore, but still struggled with her conflicting feelings.
She said: “You can feel so liberated and free and at the same time, just like that impending doom is kind of still there."
And though Maisie battled identity, anxiety, and mental health issues when she was younger, she's been coming to terms with her ordeal but would like to better understand her dad's motivations.
She said: “To be honest, I have been thinking about this a lot. It’s not because of me that these bad things happened when I was a child,” she said. “I thought it was. I through there was something inherently wrong with me, that it could be anyone experiencing the pain.
“It made me more interested in the guy. What could make you mistreat your own children? What happened to you as a kid? Did you pull the legs off bugs? Did you learn all this?
“That’s how I feel about him now. He would make a fascinating documentary.”
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