Lily Allen "lost" her identity when she tried to return to the spotlight.
Lily Allen
The 'Not Fair' hitmaker had "always been in control of her image" before she took time away to focus on her children but says that when she came back, she "lost her sense of self".
She said: "I was 14 stone and I had to lose all that weight. I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping. I'd always been in control of my image, but I'd been a mum in slippers and a dressing gown for two years. I hired a team to dress me up with slick hair, nails, makeup; all harsh and pop star-y. I felt like I was in Alice in Wonderland.
"'Who am I? What is all this? What are these songs? Why am I nowhere near my children?' Heh. 'Where's the vodka?' I lost my sense of self. I lost my identity. I was being a bad mum. I was being bad at my job. I'd wake up on a tour bus in the middle of Wisconsin and be so hung-over. I cheated on my husband. All I wanted to do was be with my kids. I wasn't even making any money."
And the 33-year-old singer "couldn't have been more isolated" if she tried as she had lost her marriage and all her friends.
She added to Vulture: "I lost my marriage, I lost my house, I lost my mind. I literally had to hit rock bottom and build myself back up. Then I had my stalker. I couldn't have been more isolated. I lost all of my friends. I couldn't talk to anybody. I was on my own."
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