Lamar Odom was "basically just committing suicide" when he binged on drugs and alcohol at a brothel in 2015.
Lamar Odom
The 37-year-old former basketball player - who was previously married to reality TV star Khloe Kardashian - collapsed and almost died following an overdose at the Love Ranch in Nevada and Lamar believes it was a cry for help as he had hit rock bottom.
In a preview for an upcoming episode of 'The Doctors', he said: "Did I feel ashamed about some of the choices I made? I was basically just committing suicide."
Speaking about his state of mind at the time, he said: "Being in that damn brothel and thinking I was going to just rest a little bit. I wasn't in a good place mentally before that incident happened. Me and my wife at the time were going through some things. I was in a dark place.
"I guess they say everything happens for a reason. I guess the reason is I'm here. I can tell the story."
Lamar recently spent one month in rehab in San Diego and a source said: "He is doing so great and looking forward to the New Year.
"He went to continue making sure he stays sober and on the right path. It was something he chose to do. He also wanted to feel 100 percent again. He did not relapse, but felt like he wanted to get away and start fresh for the New Year."
Meanwhile, Lamar - who was married to Khloe for four years before she filed for a divorce in 2013 after he allegedly cheated on her with strippers - recently admitted the only thing missing in his life is Khloe, and he is desperate to win her back.
Speaking about what he wants for his future, he said: "Honestly? I want my wife back."
Tagged in Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom