Kieran Hayler didn't feel "guilty" after cheating on his wife Katie Price.
Katie Price and Kieran Hayler
The 30-year-old has confirmed he has had an affair with his children's nanny, Nikki, but he has admitted after enjoying a romp he didn't have any remorse because he would "pretend" nothing had happened, until he was on his own and would suddenly "panic" after he realised he had been unfaithful and would "scrub" his skin to "forget" about the sex session.
Speaking to The Sun, he said: "I refuse to have Katie wrongly branded a liar. Sadly Katie is - telling the truth -- I cheated with our nanny.
"I wouldn't feel guilty around Katie because I would kind of pretend it hadn't happened. But when I was on my own and had time to think I'd get breathless, in a panic, sick that I'd done it.
"It was a buzz to know I'd done it once so could do it again. It was like a game of manipulation, feeding the addiction; it was as though I was trying to destroy myself. It only ever ¬happened in the laundry room or family bathroom. I just found the opportunities and took them. It happened about five or six times over six months ... I don't really know anything about her. It was a weird f***ed up situation.
"I saw an opportunity and manipulated her with some flattering words. I needed the excitement. The risk factor helped, knowing it was at home we could get caught.
"She was in the laundry room and I went in, kissed her and initiated sex. We were stood up, we didn't even take our clothes off. There was no passion. She never said we shouldn't do it, that she didn't want to.
"I remember scrubbing myself in the shower feeling dirty and horrid. I blocked it from my mind and tried to forget about it."
And the dark-haired lothario - who has three-year-old daughter Bunny and four-year-old son Jett with the former glamour model - has claimed it wouldn't have mattered who he got intimate with because he just needed a "fix" to satisfy his sex addiction.
He explained: "There weren't even sideways glances, no secret chats. For me, as a sex addict, I'd got what I wanted, my fix. It's like a haze comes over me, like I have a split personality. I needed to do it.
"This wasn't a big love affair, I didn't fancy Nikki. I'm a sex addict and needed a thrill. If our nanny had been 80 I'd probably have tried to manipulate her into having sex too.
"It didn't matter who it was, I just wanted a fix. If it wasn't her it would have been someone else. It was a means to an end, the thrill of the chase."
Kieran - who previously cheated on his 39-year-old spouse with her two friends Jane Poutney and Chrissy Thomas - has realised he has "hurt" and "betrayed" his wife of four years, who also has sons Harvey, 15, Junior, 11, and nine-year-old daughter Princess, but has revealed he is also "embarrassed" by his own actions.
He said: "Can you imagine how embarrassed I am about being a sex addict, mortified at admitting this? Look at Katie . . . and look at her!
"I've hurt her, betrayed her and now need to stand up for her. However bad I feel, I know I have made Katie feel worse. What I've done to Katie makes me sick. It's unforgivable. Katie is stunning and knows I didn't do any of this because of her. It's an addiction. I wish I was an alcoholic or drug addict, my actions wouldn't be seen as such a personal attack on Katie.
"Sex is seen as intimate but when I do this it's not at all. Katie is different at home to the celebrity you see on TV, she's vulnerable and I hate myself for what I've done to her."
Kieran has vowed to do all he can to win his partner back but he is aware his efforts may "fail" and their marriage will be over for good.
Speaking about rekindling the relationship for another time, he said: "But I know that as things stand for Kate it is over. I will try to turn that round but I have to accept that I may fail and I will be the only one to blame.
"I'm trying to be a good husband. I'm trying to help with the kids as much as I can. And I've started therapy again."
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