Kerry Katona feared her late ex-husband George Kay would kill her and their daughter Dylan-Jorge before his death.
Kerry Katona and George Kay
The former Atomic Kitten star had a turbulent relationship with her third husband - who died from a drugs overdose in July - and she has revealed that abusive George would spit in her face when she handed over their little girl to him, prompting five-year-old DJ to copy her dad and do the same to her and as his abhorrent behaviour escalated she became certain she would pay the ultimate price at his hands.
In an emotional interview on 'Loose Women', she said: "I feel guilty DJ didn't get to see her dad for a year. I'd hand DJ over to her dad, and I would fear I wouldn't get her back. He would spit in my face and DJ would start to spit in my face. I know if I'd have stayed with George I'd be dead. I know it 100 per cent. Or DJ would."
Former rugby league player George was 39 when he passed away and Kerry only found out her spouse - who she was still wed to when he died - had lost his life when his family contacted her on Facebook.
She revealed: "He gave me hell when he was alive. He's better off where he is. He was so unhappy on this earth. He had so many demons, so many issues, we thought when DJ was born he'd change his ways, he had chance after chance. He was never going to change, never going to change."
Kerry - who has been clean of drugs for 10 years - made the decision to dump George because his drug use and violent behaviour towards her was having a hugely detrimental effect on her mental health
She said: "It makes you feel worthless. I left George because of what he was doing. I didn't make him do anything he didn't want to do. I won't be blamed for his death.
"He didn't take his life. It was an accidental overdose. George was too vain to kill himself. George had very many issues. By the time I'd worked all these issues out, I was already madly in love with him, we had a baby on the way. We'd known each other since we were 14. I always fancied him, he always fancied me. When the violence started, it's almost like you're being groomed. Everyone says, 'Why didn't you walk away?' When I got a good hiding, I'd apologise to him."
Since his passing, Kerry has found love again with personal trainer Ryan Mahoney and has allowed the "amazing" Jesus Christ into her life and her weekly trips to Hillsong Church have had a massively positive influence on her as a person.
She shared: "I've been with Ryan for a very long time and usually by this time I've been married, pregnant and divorced! It's been over a year. He's actually got a job this one, he gets up and goes to work.
"I've always been a very spiritual person, I believe in a higher power, I believe God, I believe in Jesus, JC is amazing and the Bible is. I'm not going to go around and push religion down people's throats but I go to Hillsong Church and it's great, I love it, it's just so uplifting. I walk out of church every Sunday and I come home and I'm in a great mood, it's very empowering and I feel great for it."
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