Kellan Lutz's wife feels like "Leo in 'The Revenant'" after tragically losing her baby at six months pregnant.
Kellan and Brittany Lutz
The 'Twilight' star and Brittany Gonzales announced last week they had sadly lost their daughter late into pregnancy and the 31-year-old beauty admitted she is in the "hardest season" of her life, comparing the experience to going from a bright summer's day straight into the freezing conditions experienced by Leonardo DiCaprio's character in his award-winning role.
After thanking fans for their messages of support, Brittany wrote on Instagram: "This has, without a doubt, been the hardest season of my life.
"It feels as though within one day we went from a season that felt like a warm summer day, to the most frigid, windiest, iciest, day ever recorded. (Anyone ever seen The Revenant with Leo? I feel like Leo in The Revenant right now!)
"My emotions and feelings are slightly all over the place which is to be expected. Some moments I feel so full of peace and hope and expectancy. And other moments, simply put, it all just hurts like hell.
"I think it is important to try to always operate from a place of positivity, but that doesn't mean you don't acknowledge the other side too. We are human after all. We all hurt, bleed, cry. Feeling the negative emotions doesn't make you negative."
Brittany went on to talk about her "pain", in particularly the "cruel reminder" she's just received as her body is now producing milk.
She wrote: "The pain:
"- I miss her. A lot.
"- My milk came in last night. My boobs are rocks, leaking, and hurt like heck. It feels like a cruel reminder that I have no baby to feed.
"- My arms and neck are covered in bruises from IVs and blood transfusions and my body is so sore from fighting to survive.(sic)"
But despite her heartbreak, Brittany is still looking for the positives and though she doesn't know when she will be ready to try and get pregnant again, she's looking forward to exploring herself and how the tragedy has changed her.
She wrote: "The positive:
"- I'm still here!!!! I'm writing this right now and feel humbled.
"- I have the greatest husband and family and friends (and all of you who I've never even met!) who have poured so much back to me that I feel full.
"- Even though this is so heavy, I have an unexplainable hope and excitement for the future. I'm not ready for another pregnancy right now, (not sure when I will be honestly), but I'm excited to heal and move forward and explore this new version of myself.
"This situation didn't make me the person I thought I would become (specifically a mother to a real life baby girl), but it did birth a new version of me. Truthfully I'm scared and nervous but at the same time really eager to get to know her.(sic)"
Tagged in Kellan Lutz