Katie Price "hit rock bottom" after she stripped off in the toilets and ranted at guests at a corporate party last year.
Katie Price
The 38-year-old star and her ex-boyfriend Dane Bowers were paid £13,000 to appear at EnergySave's Christmas party but ended up wearing just a thong and knee-high leather boots in the toilets after she guzzled booze and she felt "sp much shame" when she sobered up.
Katie - who called herself Jordan in her glamour model days - said: "Everything was good up until last year when I hit rock, rock bottom.... I was going out and getting into DJ boxes and singing on my own. People made fun of me but I was in my own little world and no one could see the suffering inside.
"When I saw the footage of me at the corporate event I was mortified. Do people think I enjoy that? Time and time again, I've made a fool of myself. There is so much shame."
Katie admitted she got depressed during that time and wanted to "disappear" and thinks the pressure of being the breadwinner in her family got the better of her.
The mother-of-five - who is married to Kieran Hayler - said: "I went through the blackest mood of my life last year. I couldn't see the point of getting up in the morning.
"For the first time in my life time seemed to slow down and I didn't feel like going on.
"Nothing could motivate me and I wanted to just curl up in a ball and disappear.
"For no reason I would burst into tears and everything felt so pointless.'
"Some days all I want to do is sleep or lie on the sofa. There's no 'oomph'.
"I've always supported myself and earned a lot of money but sometimes the pressure is too much. I'm trying not to dwell on the past but I feel numb inside."
Meanwhile, the reality star had her eighth boob job last year and admitted she is "sick to death" of the procedure but has vowed to use botox to fight the effects of ageing.
She added to The Sun on Sunday newspaper: "I am sick to death of surgery. I've had so many anaesthetics, taken so many painkillers. I'm sick of operating tables. I will always have Botox and lip-filler.
"People think I want to be glamorous all the time but it doesn't match up with the real me. I keep telling myself, 'Leave your body alone'."
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