Jussie Smollett was "numb" when he was accused of staging a hate crime on himself.
Jussie Smollett has reflected on his darkest days
The former 'Empire' actor was sentenced to 150 days in jail in March 2022 after being found guilty of lying about being a victim of a racist and homophobic attack and making a false police report in 2022, but still insisted he is innocent and initially believed there was "no way" the public would believe a "stupid rumour" spread by "haters".
Jussie - who was released on bail six days into his sentence pending his ongoing appeal - told People magazine: "I was numb.
"I didn't know how to connect the dots. I really genuinely did not know. I couldn't make sense of what was going on, and I couldn't make sense of what people were actually thinking ... what exactly do they think happened? I couldn't put two and two together...
"[The haters] had a mission. I felt very disconnected from that. I still to this day can't entirely make sense of, 'What the f*** was that?' But obviously it was painful. I certainly am not going to sit here and try to act to the world as if I was fine...
"We're still dealing with the repercussions from that narrative. We're still dealing with that every day."
The 42-year-old actor remembered his "darkest day" as being 21 February, 2019, when he was arrested.
He said: "That was a pretty dark day because that's when everything clicked to me of what was happening.
"A lot of things tested my strength, a lot of things tested my mental, but the one thing I never lost — I never started thinking that I am somebody that I'm not. That is the one thing that did not happen.
"Keep in mind, I was deep in my thirties when this happened. This isn't like I'm a 16 year old or a 20 year old, [where] this is impacting their very being of who they believe that they are. I never started thinking that I am somebody that I'm not."
Despite his ongoing legal issues, the 'Lost Holliday' star doesn't want to dwell on the situation or "victimise" himself.
He said: "I have to move forward. I must.
"I'm not going to sit here and victimise myself and be like 'Woe is me,' because there's so many people that don't have the platform or the resources that I have to protect themselves.
"I'm very well aware of my privilege in this situation. That's why there's a certain point where it's just like, I can't hold on to the pain.
"That's why I'm blessed to continue on and make film and make music and do the things that I was put down here by God to do."
However, Jussie admitted his new perspective "hasn't always been easy to look at like that" as there were times he was "so mad and just so bitter".
He added: "You got to look at those bad moments in your life and think, 'Huh, if they were to make a two-hour film about my life when I'm done, that would probably be a seven-minute storyline at most'.
"All of the other things that you do in your life should be able to hopefully outweigh things that you went through that are really, really difficult."
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