John Lydon felt as if he lost "half" of himself when his wife died.
John Lydon nursed his wife Nora Forster through the last years of her life as she battled Alzheimer's disease
The 68-year-old rock star - who was known as Johnny Rotten during his heyday with the Sex Pistols - nursed his wife Nora Forster through the last years of her life as she battled Alzheimer's disease and has now opened up about the moment he had to give medics permission to stop her treatment.
He told Saga magazine: " 'It was like half of me went with her. Her last day was really painful for her. She was very short of breath and uncomfortable and I knew the end was coming.
"It was awfully hard in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Her heart stopped a few times and she was on respirators, being artificially kept alive.
They said to me: 'We really can't do any more. Do we have your permission to stop?' and God, what a question to have to answer!"
John added that his wife - who died just months after her 80th birthday - was in "such pain" that he couldn't realistically expect her to go on any longer and that even though the two years he was her full-time carer were "chaotic and frustrating", he still "misses" that time of his life fervently.
He said: "It was one of the most awful moments of my life. I had to give permission because she was in real pain and it would have been selfish to expect her to go on suffering like that. There were moments when it tore me apart. I needed helpers in at least one day a week, just so I could sit down and stop running around for a bit. It was chaotic, frustrating and mind-numbingly draining, but I loved taking care of her. I miss it like mad."
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