Jane Lynch says the "sober fairy" gave her "once more chance".
The 61-year-old actress - who has been open about her battle with alcohol addiction - has opened up on her relapse five years ago after feeling "a kind of magical lifting of my compulsion to drink" in her 30s, and she had a similar feeling six months after she started drinking again.
She told The Guardian newspaper: "[It was] like the sober fairy said: ‘OK, I’m giving you one more chance.’ And it was over. Five o’clock would come and I didn’t notice it.”
Jane explained how she started drinking as a teenager as she couldn’t come to terms with her sexuality, which made her feel ashamed.
She explained: “The first time you [have a drink], it’s like: ‘Ah, I found it. I feel happy in my body, this feeling of bliss. No one can say anything to me that would make me upset or feel badly about myself right now.’
"And then maybe the next time you drink, you get it again. Before you know it, it’s not doing it for you. So for the most part, when I was in the throes of addiction, it wasn’t working.
"You end up chasing [that feeling]. And then if you’re not chasing that, what are you doing? Who are you? You have to really face this emptiness.”
‘The Marvelous Mrs Maisel’ star - who remarried for a second time last year - was grateful for all her opportunities and credits her success to sobriety as even though she was a functioning alcoholic, it got to a point where she had “a kind of magical lifting of my compulsion to drink” and decided to join Alcoholics Anonymous.
She added: “I felt sorry for people who weren’t alcoholics: I just loved AA, It was very much a gift; it was almost like I was struck sober.”
Jane fell off the wagon five years ago when she decided to have a glass of wine with her dinner, and she "went back into denial".
Despite her glittering career, Jane admitted she started drinking again out of boredom, which she was ashamed of.
Jane said: “I was a little ashamed, and also the denial, the justifications. My friends were fooled. I remember a friend said: ‘I told you you’re not an alcoholic any more.’ I’d go: ‘I know!' I was.”
Tagged in Jane Lynch