Holly Madison found the aftermath of Hugh Hefner's death to be a "really odd time".
Holly Madison dated Hugh Hefner for 15 years
The former 'Girls Next Door' star was one of the Playboy founder's girlfriends for 15 years but she's later spoken about how "toxic" the relationship was and she struggled to process her thoughts after he passed away in 2017 aged 91.
She told People magazine about her feelings: “Not relief at all, because I felt like I had taken myself kind of out of that universe pretty solidly. But it was a really odd time.
“For me, after leaving that relationship, I kind of felt like he had always interacted with me in such a fake way. Because every interaction he had with me was all about control or this fantasy he had of a relationship. It almost felt like playing house in a way.”
And the 44-year-old beauty found it "weird" that people expected her to pay a public tribute to the media tycoon, despite having spoken out against their relationship before his death.
She said: “When he passed away, everybody expected me to have some big reaction or post about it on social media, and it just felt weird. I didn't have any emotional attachment to him anymore in any way.
“I'd already come out talking about what a toxic relationship this was for me. Why am I supposed to post a memorial on my Instagram?”
Even after she left the Playboy Mansion, Holly still worked at E!, the network who had produced 'Girls Next Door' and she felt "safe" being on camera, but had no interest in talking to her former lover.
She said: “The spin-off was produced by the same guy who did 'Girls Next Door', so he would want to do crossover episodes.
"So I did a few of those and it felt safe because the cameras were on, and it's semi-scripted, so that felt okay, but if I was in a meeting with him in the office, he would always be like, ‘Why don't I get Hef on the phone? Why don't you guys talk?’
“Why would I want to talk to a robot? Everything he says to me is just going to be designed to get a certain reaction, designed to keep me on his good side. It just didn't feel authentic.
“Before he passed away, there had been maybe five or six years where I just had not spoken to him at all. He had become a completely different character in my mind.”
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