Hilaria Baldwin cried so much that her "eyes were nearly swollen shut" when she found out that her baby had died four months into her pregnancy last year.
Alec and Hilaria Baldwin
The 36-year-old yoga instructor and her husband Alec Baldwin experienced two miscarriages within seven months of each other in 2019, but it was the latter loss that broke her down as she went into the ultrasound expecting to see her little girl growing nicely inside her but later saw her "crumpled up, lifeless" in her womb.
Writing for Glamour, she said: "Even though I'd had a miscarriage before, I don't think I could have fathomed how bad it could feel to have a miscarriage at 16 weeks. I had to go home and sleep with my dead baby inside of me.
"I felt sick, sour in my belly, and so devastated. I kept waking up and thinking it must have all been a very vivid bad dream. I cried so much that my eyes were nearly swollen shut. I didn't know the body could make so many tears. This was a pain that I had never experienced before, and it felt suffocating."
The brunette beauty shared both of her miscarriages with her Instagram followers almost immediately in the hope that it would help her with the healing process.
She explained: "This is your journey, your baby--you are the mother. You are the one suffering, so you get to make the rules.
"Ask yourself how you need to process. Maybe it's very publicly, as I've chosen to do, or maybe it's in a much more private way. Both are valid.
"However you process, do it with no shame and remember that you are not alone."
Although speaking out helped her to accept the loss, not all of the comments were kind as she was branded "disgusting" and "too old" to have more kids by some.
She said at the time: "All of a sudden I started getting negative comments about my miscarriage. 'Attention seeker,' 'too old,' and 'disgusting.'
"Losing a baby at any stage is rock bottom.
"Rock bottom sucks. But rock bottom is also eye opening. Because you understand and have experienced true pain.
"It makes the trolls seem even smaller than they usually are. Because no words they can use can ever compare to what you have lost."
Hilaria has kids Carmen, six, Rafael, four, Leonardo, three, and Romeo, 20 months, with her husband Alec.
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