Emily Ratajkowski found it "cathartic and incredibly painful" to write about multiple assaults she has suffered.
Emily Ratajkowski
The 30-year-old model and actress describes being assaulted on several occasions in her book of personal essays, 'My Body', and the 'Gone Girl' star has now admitted she felt "an incredible amount of shame" around the experiences, but writing about them provided some relief, despite the pain of reliving such moments.
When asked how it was to revisit and write about them, she said: "Yeah, I mean, again, the only way I know how to explain it is they weren't things that felt like, this is a sexual assault, or this is bad or good.
"A lot of the time it was just experiences that I just had an incredible amount of shame around. And all of a sudden instead of being really hard on myself, I started to want to record what it all had felt like.
"I just want to be as honest as I can, so that I can start to process the shame I have around these experiences. So, it was both cathartic and also incredibly painful."
In her book, Emily has accused singer Robin Thicke of "cupping her bare breasts" while filming the music video for 'Blurred Lines' in 2013.
Emily has now admitted she was reluctant to call the police or end the photoshoot at the time for fear that her "big break" wouldn't happen.
She said: "It actually felt different than a lot of the work I had been doing at that point. I felt like I was having fun and enjoying myself.
"The word empowered gets thrown around a lot. I don't know if I felt empowered, but I certainly felt ... joyful. And in that moment, I didn't let myself think about what he had done and what that meant about the power dynamics.
"It wasn't until I was older that I was able to acknowledge that.
"Because of course, I could have screamed, 'I'm calling the police,' or, 'This shoot is over.' But that would have only hurt myself: maybe my big break wouldn't have happened.
"So, there are real reasons why I didn't want to talk about this or think about it."
Emily also believes people need more understanding about why such actions are not right, rather than to simply think those who do such things are "bad" people, as she is sure 44-year-old father-of-four Robin is "a good person, in some ways".
She added to Stylist magazine: "Robin Thicke I'm sure is also a wonderful father. You know, I don't know him, but I'm sure that he's a good person, in some ways, but also, in that particular moment, he felt like he had power over my body that he didn't have and was able to do something that was disrespectful.
"And I think we need to change the thing that allows him to feel like that's not a big deal. Rather than say, 'Oh, he's a bad guy now.' "
Robin has not publicly responded to the allegation.
Director Diane Martel previously confirmed she witnessed the incident and immediately wrapped the shoot.
She said: “I remember the moment that he grabbed her breasts. One in each hand. He was standing behind her as they were both in
profile. I screamed in my very aggressive Brooklyn voice, ‘What the f*** are you doing, that’s it!! The shoot is over!' "
Diane claimed Robin apologized, and she insisted: “I don’t think he would have done this had he been sober.”
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