Elliot Page "collapsed" at the 'Inception' premiere afterparty.
Elliot Page on The Oprah Conversation (c) Apple TV+
The 34-year-old actor - who came out as transgender in December 2020 - recalled how promoting the 2010 movie and “wearing a dress and heels to pretty much every single event” was growing increasingly detrimental to his mental health and after his manager offered a choice of three gowns to wear to the party, he just "lost it".
He said: "It was like a cinematic moment..
“That night, after the premiere at the afterparty, I collapsed. That’s something that’s happened frequently in my life, usually corresponding with a panic attack.
“Ultimately, it’s every experience you’ve had since you were a toddler, people saying, ‘The way you’re sitting is not ladylike, you’re walking like a boy…,’ every aspect of who you are being looked at and put in a box in a very binary system. That’s what it leads to.”
The 'Umbrella Academy' also admitted he can't look back at photos of the 2008 Oscars, when he was nominated for Best Actress thanks to his breakthrough movie 'Juno' because it was such a painful time.
Speaking to Oprah Winfrey on her Apple TV+ series 'The Oprah Conversation', Elliot tearfully recalled: “That was a pretty intense time. I remember it felt so impossible to communicate with people how unwell I was, because obviously there is so much excitement. The film unexpectedly became a big hit, I became quite known, all these things and I felt I couldn’t express the degree of pain I was in.”
“I could not look at a photo from that red carpet. People might watch this and say, ‘Oh my gosh, this person is crying about the night they went to the Oscars.’
"That prevents the ability to allow yourself to not just feel the pain but reflect on the pain, to begin to sit down and bring it all up and finally confront all of that.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Elliot admitted since transitioning and having his breasts removed, he feels happiest when he gets out of the shower.
Asked what part of his transition has brought him the most joy, he said: "Getting out of the shower and the towel's around your waist and you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you're just like, 'There I am.' And I'm not having the moment where I'm panicked.
"It's being able to touch my chest and feel comfortable in my body for the... probably the first time."
Elliot's interview with Oprah is available to watch on Apple TV+ now.
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