Dax Shepard: I hated myself after relapse

22 December 2020

Dax Shepard “hated” himself when he broke his 16-year sobriety earlier this year.

Dax Shepard

The 45-year-old actor has been battling an addiction to prescription medication for many years, and in September this year, he confessed to having relapsed in his sobriety journey after he began taking medication following a motorcycle accident.

And now, Dax has said he was scared to come forward about his relapse at first, but was met with “unconditional love” from his wife Kristen Bell as well as their friends, family, and fans.

Speaking on his ‘Armchair Expert’ podcast to Kristen and his co-host Monica Padman, he said: “I can’t imagine having to admit that to other people and feeling as safe as I did that you guys wouldn’t hate me. I hated me at that point and so, to be able to tell you guys and feel unconditionally loved and that I would be accepted was really special. It saved my life.”

Kristen then insisted Dax “saved” himself without the help of anyone else, because he came forward to face his relapse head on.

She told him: “Nobody saved you but you, and your courage and boldness to say, ‘I feel like I’m slipping’ or ‘I did slip and I need to be honest before it gets worse’ and I’m just grateful to all parties involved. I think we did a really good job, team.

“I feel really grateful and honoured that you felt you could trust me. I feel grateful that I was allowed in to the inner circle.”

Elsewhere in their conversation, the ‘Chips’ star said he has had a “great year” in 2020, and confessed to feeling “guilty” about it because of the difficult time many people around the world have faced in the last 12 months.

He said: “I feel guilty saying this, but I still loved this year immensely. I loved this year. I had a great year. I’m saying though even with two surgeries and a relapse and shame spiral and all this stuff, still a great year for me.”

And Kristen added: “I think we’re very lucky to say that, because we’re not out of work and we’re not looking at eviction and we’re not struggling to put food on the table.”