Crystal Hefner plans to study psychology to understand what drew her to the Playboy mansion.
Crystal Hefner wants to study psychology
The 37-year-old model moved in to the famous abode as one of the late Hugh Hefner's girlfriends in 2009 during a time when she was struggling both financially and mentally and the blonde beauty - who married the media mogul in 2012, five years before he died aged 91 - is keen to now work out why she "gravitated" to what she thought would give her "access and power".
She told The Observer magazine: "When I first got there, it was like… Willy Wonka. Because I came from a world where I didn’t have much of anything.
“The big celebrities at the time were people like Pamela Anderson and I thought they looked so powerful; they were loved, they belonged.
"When I moved into the mansion I saw access and power and thought it was amazing. But then the walls started to close in on me.
"I think broken women gravitate towards something like that. I still don’t understand why. I’m going back to school to study more psychology.”
After leaving the mansion after Hefner died, Crystal found relationships difficult and on a friend's advice, she consulted a matchmaker - only to realise she struggled to still know her own likes and dislikes.
She said: “I realised, maybe being there affected me more than I thought.
"[The matchmaker] said, ‘What are your hobbies? What do you like?’ [I was speechless.] Because, like, ‘What do I like?’”
The former 'Girls Next Door' star has started a podcast in the hope of connecting with other women from similar situations, but has found it "difficult" to realise how few of them have fully processed their experiences.
She said: “I wanted to talk to other women who had been part of that world or had similar experiences, about how they’ve healed. But a lot of them haven’t. So that’s become difficult for me, realising, ‘Wow, we’re all still trying to figure it out.’”
These days, Crystal despises the idea of celebrity and being famous.
She said: “I think it’s empty. I feel people chase it because they have some kind of void they’re trying to fill. And then once they get it, they’re angry, because it doesn’t fix anything.”
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