Conrad Murray felt like a "father figure" to Michael Jackson.
The disgraced physician, who was convicted of the involuntary manslaughter of the King of Pop following his death from acute Propofol intoxication five years ago, is "remorseful" over the star's passing, but still insists he wasn't involved in his death.
He said: "I'm not [a murderer]... You know, I am very remorseful that Michael has passed away. Michael was a friend. And he touched me in so many ways, that I felt like a father figure to Michael, though I wasn't old enough to be his dad. I felt as though I was protecting Michael all the time. I did. I give Michael a sense of confidence and protection that he never had. And he was not about to lose that."
Although Murray, who can no longer practise medicine - claims to have "suffered" a lot since the star's passing, he insists he doesn't blame the 'Thriller' hitmaker, who he is adamant administered the lethal dose of painkillers himself.
He added in an interview with CNN: "I have suffered a lot. There is no doubt about it. But I don't hate Michael. Michael did not do me wrong. He did not want this to happen to me. Whatever happened to Michael when I was not there is probably his own misjudgment. And I believe that that clearly happened because he was illogical, he was irrational, and he was in the withdrawal state from Demerol."
The 61 year old medic claims he still grieves the star every day and longs to speak to his children Prince, 17, Paris, 16, and Blanket, 12, again.
He said: "The loss is monumental. I grieve for Michael every day and I grieve for those children. They would come into my arms every day. That warmed his heart. Maybe there will be a day when they would like to speak to me."
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