Bill Murray has offered the Doobie Brothers the "least offensive" shirts in his golf apparel line.
Bill Murray
The veteran rockers threatened to take action against the 'Groundhog Day' star for allegedly using their song 'Listen to the Music' without permission in adverts for his William Murray range, with their attorney, Peter Paterno, sending a funny letter last week, in which he claimed there would be no major objection if the garments weren't "so damn ugly".
And now Bill's own lawyer has responded, in an equally funny letter which made a number of references to Doobie Brothers songs.
Attorney Alexander Yoffe, of Yoffe & Cooper, wrote: "First, I would like to compliment you on finding levity in the law at a time when the world and this country certainly could use a laugh. Your client's demand was able to cut through the noise of the news cycle and remind us how much we all miss live music these days.
"We would also like to confirm that both our firm, and the good folks at William Murray Golf, are indeed fans of the Doobie Brothers' music, which is why we appreciate your firm's choice of 'Takin' It to the Streets,' rather than to the courts, which are already overburdened 'Minute by Minute' with real problems.
Alexander then expressed his concern at the "disconcerting" comments about the "fashionableness" of the clothing line.
He added in the letter: "Especially considering 75% of my wardrobe consists of William Murray polos, shorts and pants."
The attorney then urged everyone to relax and "unwind" together and celebrate the fact they were both representing "world-class entertainers".
He wrote: "In the immortal words of Mr. Murray - the more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything... so let's pour one up and unwind with a listen of the recently-released 'Quadio' box set and plan to cross paths at a Doobie Brothers' 50th anniversary show in 2021 when some level of normalcy resumes.
"As your client so aptly stated in this classic song in question, 'What the people need is a way to make them smile' -- which both Bill and the Doobies have been doing for decades, as world-class entertainers."
And the lawyer closed the response by offering to send William Murray apparel to the Doobie Brothers and their legal representatives.
He wrote: "Please provide us with the shirt size for yourself, Tom Johnston, Patrick Simmons, Michael McDonald and John McFee, along with which of our client's shirts you find the least offensive
"We will happily upgrade your wardrobes and hopefully win each of you over as new fans of the brand. At least that's 'what this fool believes'."
In the initial letter sent to Bill, Peter suggested the actor rebrand his company in light of his alleged actions.
He wrote: "It's a fine song. I know you agree because you keep using it in ads for your Zero Hucks Given golf shirts.
"However, given that you haven't paid to use it, maybe you should change the company name to 'Zero Bucks Given.'
And the lawyer even suggested Bill faces "eternal damnation" for his 'Garfield' movies and branded his golfwear "so damn ugly".
The letter continued: "This is the part where I'm supposed to cite the United States Copyright Act, excoriate you for not complying with some subparagraph that I'm too lazy to look up and threaten you with eternal damnation for doing so.
"But you already earned that with those 'Garfield' movies. And you already know you can't use music in ads without paying for it. We'd almost be OK with it if the shirts weren't so damn ugly. But it is what it is.
"So in the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir Golfer. Et payez!'"
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