Caroline Flack's ex-fiance "still hasn't come to terms" with her death.
Andrew Brady
The 'Love Island' presenter took her own life last month and Andrew Brady - who she was briefly engaged to in 2018 following a whirlwind romance - has admitted he is still feeling "shook to the absolute core" by the tragedy.
Opening up for the first time since Caroline's private funeral took place on Tuesday (10.3.20), he shared a photo of them together during their relationship on Instagram and wrote: "RIP Sprouts x
"Caroline sadly died almost a month ago. She's finally been laid to rest and I still haven't come to terms with things.
"It's been the single most devastating news I have ever heard and it shook me to the absolute core. I feel so much sorrow and pain and of course I still feel guilt. Our relationship wasn't east and we had our troubles. I didn't always want good for her but I didn't want this. She didn't deserve this.
"I know some of you dislike me and that's okay. You read about our relationship and you judged. Go ahead make those judgements because you know nothing. I'm not writing this to emend any gossip you think you know. But I want this to be known. Regardless of how our relationship went, I want it to be known how much of an amazing person Caroline Flack was."
The former 'Apprentice' star then praised Caroline for how much she had loved her family and sent his best wishes to her relatives.
He continued: "Caroline had so many amazing qualities. She was sexy, she was passionate. She was flirty, she was talented, she was generous, she had a presence that you could feel her in a room, she had an incredible smile, she was the life and soul of the party and always threw a good one too.
"She loved karaoke and would hog the microphone as she was a performer. But most of all she loved all her nieces and nephews and she was a wonderful Aunti. She loved all her family and just wanted to make them proud.
"I feel so sad for you all. I'm so sorry. I hope you were all able to celebrate her life yesterday just like she'd have wanted.
He then shared a poem he had written for the former 'Xtra Factor' host when they had "just started going out".
The verse, titled 'Thanks For the Support', was titled: "Thanks for the support / This was my first message / On Instagram of all things / Turns out to be a blessing
"I thought you looked beautiful / When we met at the vault / The tequila shots... oops sorry / I guess they were my fault
"It soon became apparent / That I couldn't leave your side / You made me feel amazing / You make me feel alive
"These feelings I have / They're are so unique / I have fallen head over heels / Words are impossible to speak
"When I look in your eyes / I know that it's true / You're the one I want to be with / And I think you do too
"Why you, I hear you say / Here let me explain / I can't get you out of my head / You drive me insane
"You're smart yet silly / Ambitious and proud / You're beautiful and happy / When I'm not being too loud
"When we're together / We laugh and we cry / If I said I wasn't besotted / I'd be telling a lie
"For someone so great / You're also quite funny / The only thing I don't like / Is when you cuddle my tummy."
Andrew urged people to learn lessons from the 40-year-old presenter's sad passing, as well as to speak out if they're having mental health difficulties.
He wrote: "I'm not sure if what I'm doing is right but I don't know how to grieve. We never get taught these things. I just hope that we can all use this as a lesson. Let's just be kind. It's not difficult. Maybe think about the implications of that nasty comment you're about to send.
"If you, reading this, are feeling down about anything please just speak to somebody. It's amazing how many good people our there care about you.
"It's okay not to be okay! AB. P.S Please also no body worry about me. I'm okay. I am surrounded by amazing people here. This is just really tragic and sad news."
Tagged in Caroline Flack Andrew Brady