Amber Heard feared she "wouldn't survive" if she stayed married to Johnny Depp.
The 'Aquaman' actress returned to the witness stand in her legal battle with her ex-husband - who she is countersuing after he sued her for defamation over a 2018 article she wrote about being a victim of domestic abuse - on Monday (16.05.22) and claimed she "had to" file for divorce because she was running out of "hope", even though she still loved the 'Edward Scissorhands' actor "so much".
She said: “I knew if I didn’t I’d likely not literally survive.
“I was so scared that it was going to end really badly for me and I really didn’t want to leave him, I loved him so much.
“I would have done anything but I couldn’t do that one thing, I couldn’t stay...
“The promise and the hope I had became less and less regular and more and more rare.
“The monster was now the thing that was normal and not the exception. The violence was now normal and not the exception.
“It was so hard but I knew I had to do it… what if he had taken it too far, I wouldn’t be here.”
Amber grew emotional when she claimed she feared the 58-year-old star would accidentally kill her during an alleged assault on their honeymoon.
She told the court: "I was so scared that it was going to end really badly for me. I really didn't want to leave him. I loved him so much."
The 36-year-old actress alleged her ex-husband attacked her onboard the Orient Express train in Asia after they married in February 2015 and claimed he struck her and held her by the neck in their sleeper compartment.
She said: "He was squeezing my neck against the railway car for what felt like a very long time.
“I remember thinking that he could not even mean to kill me, [I was] scared that he wouldn’t even mean to do it.”
In another instance, the 'Danish Girl' star spoke of a "week of hell" when her then-husband allegedly flew into a jealous rage after she was offered a role with James Franco and claimed he “slapped [her] across the face” and “punched [her] across the jaw”.
Amber also alleged Johnny - who has denied being violent towards his ex-wife - often self-harmed during their arguments.
She said: "In fights he often would cut his arms or hold his knife to his chest or draw blood, superficially at first. He also put cigarettes out on himself."
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