They can ‘fall in love forever’ from the age of 13. Of course this isn’t usually the case, and you might recall that for generations, that first love is the one that we all feel will last forever. In today’s society however, the 13 year olds genuinely believe that they are in an adult relationship and they emulate all that it entails. In our day, if we had an argument with our ‘boyfriend’ and said hurtful things, that was the end of that and we moved on. Today they seek counselling to put right the wrongs and seek reasons for why things aren’t working. Far too young for all this pressure in my opinion.
A Dark Secret
They are very aware of their mental health. They recognise that talking to professionals can be more helpful than conflicting advice from their peers. They are more open to discussing how they are feeling and can put a name to the feeling. Previous generations didn’t do this and had more of a ‘make do’ attitude.
They can make a ‘five year plan’! Seriously, this is a thing. When I was a young teenager I couldn’t predict what I would be doing the following Saturday let alone formulate a journey that would take me into adulthood. I’ve looked after teenagers who own a book where they have pages, filled with Argos codes and stuck on pictures, referring to how their first living room will be furnished.
They don’t have the same fear or respect of those in authority that we all did. Today they know they are important and have a recognised place in society and they have a ‘you respect me, and I’ll respect you’ theory. A policeman, a teacher, a doctor doesn’t necessarily instil the same quiet awe that it did in us. To today’s youth, they are just adults who have a job. All of this of course is true, but it can have an uncomfortable effect because I believe that society does need a pecking order if we are to live ordered lives – no matter how un-PC I sound J
A lot of today’s teenagers are too quick to want to enter the big wide world unaccompanied. It’s all about turning 16, and often their lives at home are seen as a holding pen where they remain chomping at the bit until they are released. They are convinced that they can make it and even if they are slightly afraid, they still want the opportunity to give it a go. Again, this is a double edged sword. On the one hand we can commend them for their courage and resilience, on the other, are we setting them up to fail by allowing them this freedom when we know they aren’t quite ready?
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Today’s teenagers refuse to fit into a recognised mould. This new world is ready to accept that they can be whomever and whatever they feel suits them. They won’t necessarily display the characteristics, attitudes, behaviour or lifestyle of what is typical of their gender, race, religion etc, and what once was seen as rebellious or described as a phase, is now seen as a completely normal, or indeed necessary step in becoming the person they were born to be.
No matter how grown up or intelligent our young people appear to be on the surface, what lies beneath is much the same as it always has been. They still thrive within boundaries, they still need the love and support from family and friends, and they still soak up little bits of advice and life learning, despite outwardly rejecting it.
The internet and social media, although to us, can be a royal pain in the rear, is a vital part of today’s youth. A photograph posted on Facebook or Instagram – or whatever else, without a certain number of likes is disastrous to some teenagers. Whilst we might think it’s silly, to them it can have horrifying effects. It might mean that they stop eating so that they can become thinner, they stop going out because they feel a social outcast, they may harm themselves because they feel ugly and unloved. It’s not silly to them, it’s an indicator of their worth, and in my opinion, this is the scariest aspect of living in the present, and there is very little we can do about it. We can only be constantly aware and learn how to build self esteem within our children, without them having to rely on the acceptance of strangers.
This one may seem trivial but I’ve found in my experience that it really isn’t. Photographs. Physical pictures in an album. It’s an alien concept to most young people today, as the only important photographs they own are in a mobile device. But once that device is full, they are prompted to delete content in order to add more. This means that in some cases, memories more than a year or so old are gone. We live in a ‘here and now’ society of course, but as a society we have never been in this age before, and it’s only down the line that we will see the effects. I truly hope that one of those effects is not that we having nothing left to look back on. That our kids can’t fondly look back at pictures of their grandparents and great grandparents, or reflect on special memories captured in a photograph.
Speaking of a ‘here and now’ age brings me to my final observation. Our youth now are used to thinking something, then being able to click a button and it’s there. Instant gratification. It’s the way of the world of course these days, and in a lot of cases it’s great that we can get instant answers if we need them. However, the knock on effect is that if a child wants something, they can’t wait for it. They want it there and then. A new outfit – next day delivery, a new book – instant download, a computer game – instant download. They don’t have to wait for or anticipate anything. Unfortunately this has created a whole load of people who appear to be selfish or ungrateful or demanding. It’s not their fault, the world is there for the taking, it’s just that we have to find new ways of giving our children that special feeling of working towards something and getting excited about rewards that are earned and not just expected. Hard work for us oldies, but well worth it if we can keep at least that spark alive. Technology won’t do it, that’s down to us.