I wrote the The Little Girl Who Gave Zero F*cks for little me.
It’s a fairy tale about everyday bravery, putting two fingers up to a society that makes ridiculous demands on women and girls: the way we’re supposed to speak, look, behave and obey men. I wish someone had written this book when I was growing up. I was an insecure, oftentimes odd child. If time travel ever becomes possible I’ll go back to the 90s, give her a copy of the book and a big hug. And then I’ll go and kill baby Hitler.
The Little Girl Who Gave Zero Fucks
Elodie-Rose is real, kind of.
The character of Elodie-Rose is based on my nieces: my three favourite people with the most unique, positive personalities. Each one of them is going to change the world.
I’m an Essex Girl.
I’m from a place called Thurrock, in Essex. The Guardian newspaper once described it as ‘the cesspit of the UK’, which was nice of them. I used to be embarrassed because Essex girls had such a mean, unnecessary reputation, but now I couldn’t be prouder of where I’m from. TOWIE is a work of heartbreaking genius.
If I was alive 600 years ago I’d have been burned as a witch.
Swearing is a social construct. Someone, somewhere decided what words we could and could not say which is very weird, when you think about it. You should say whatever you want, as long as it’s not harmful. The words ‘ugly’, ‘stupid’, ‘weird’, or negative terms about race or sexuality are more hurtful than a few bloodies here and there. In medieval times, women from the lower classes who used ‘bad language’ were thought to be uneducated, unruly, and were statistically more likely to be accused of witchcraft, especially if they weren’t married. If you don’t like women swearing you’re perpetuating the same thinking that allowed them to be burned alive in the 1600s.
I refuse to take no for an answer.
The Little Girl Who Gave Zero F*cks was a hard sell. Many literary agents couldn’t see its relevance for a mainstream audience, which is why I worked with the crowdfunding publisher Unbound who celebrate controversial and niche titles. The book has been an Amazon number 1 bestseller since, so I’m glad I persevered.
I’m a Buddhist-in-training.
And my friends make fun of me for it. In an act of clichéd middle classness I went on a two-week detox, vegan, yoga, healing retreat in Sri Lanka and learned a lot about Buddhism. The theory: be kind to everyone, lose your ego and focus on being present, in the moment, is pretty robust, and in a social media world it helps not to take yourself too seriously.
I don’t believe in imposter syndrome
Imposter syndrome is dangerous. It’s pop psychology based on a research study from 1978, and isn’t a clinically recognised disorder. We need to stop convincing individuals they’re mentally fragile and start focusing on the work environments that don’t allow people to thrive, or be comfortably out of their depth. It’s the commercial medicalisation of nerves and insecurity, and that ain’t cool.
I’m writing Zero F*cks the musical.
I grew up on a musical diet of Calamity Jane, Hello Dolly and Les Mis, so this has always been a dream of mine. I’m working with an Oxford-based actor called Thomas Cardwell and he’s so fun and inspiring to work with. It’s happening so SEE YOU ON BROADWAY, BITCHES.
Beyoncé is everything.
She gets a special thank you in the acknowledgements of my book. There’s two types of women in this world: those who say they ‘don’t get Beyoncé’ and those who aren’t actively fanning the flames of inequality with their twisted self-defeating unconscious bias.
I don’t have birthdays.
I don’t talk about how old I am. People obsess over age, and beauty companies that wang on about anti-ageing need to pipe down. Girls fear getting older, because as they get older they become more invisible to the world. The process of ageing is seen as a disease, a weakness. Like Mariah Carey, I don’t have birthdays, I have anniversaries.