Please tell us about your book Stuff Every Groom Should Know.
Stuff Every Groom Should Know
Stuff Every Groom Should Know is a start-to-finish, front-to-back guide on how a groom can survive one of the biggest days of his life. From before the proposal to the months following your wedding, it's a lot more pressure than guys like to let on. The book tries to cover just about everything to help ease some of that pressure, though, and in bite-sized, easy to digest chunks that won't overwhelm even the most in-over-his-head groom.
Please tell us a little about the seven newspaper chain you are editor of in New Jersey.
This is something now in my past. These days, I'm a freelance writer and social media marketer, enjoying life working from home (while undoubtedly driving my wife a little crazy in the process). This allows me to flex my writing muscles on a broad array of topics and to encounter new challenges every day. Given that I'm easily bored, it has been an ideal transition for me. And yes, I'm for hire!
How much has being married helped you to write this book?
My wedding day being in the past, but the not-too-distant past, was a big help. All the nervousness and uncertainty about what I was supposed to do was still fresh enough to remember, but there was enough distance from it so I could look back objectively and realize that with some simple advice, most of this stuff fell into the "don't sweat it" category. Of course, it also helped to have had someone I could go to to get her perspective on things. After all, just like marriage itself, a wedding is a two-way street. That means part of being the best groom you can be is not only understanding your own needs and responsibilities, but understanding how to help her manage hers. And as with anything in life, going through an experience (and doing so with another person) teaches you a lot, even if at the time you didn't realize you were learning something.
How did you get involved in this project?
I had previously written "Stuff Every Husband Should Know" for Quirk Books. Thankfully, that book got a good response and was a good fit for their excellent "Stuff Every" line, so when it came time for Groom to join the party I was honored to have them ask me to take a crack at it.
Why do you think grooms get such bad press in the wedding planning stages?
The wedding industry is built around the bride, and in western society men are often encouraged to take a back seat when it comes to putting together the big day. As a result, it seems as if many guys don't care much about the details - and in the past they often didn't! Thankfully, we're starting to see that change. Men are taking a more active role in not only the wedding planning, but also in ensuring that their wedding day is a reflection of what makes their relationship something special.
What do you think is the biggest hurdle for a groom to be to overcome?
Simply understanding that he is a part of the process, too, and not merely in a support role. It's vital to support your bride-to-be in the planning, of course, but it's also important to understand that it's okay for a man to care about how his wedding day unfolds, too. It's 2016. Relationships needn't be stuck in the same old roles of yesteryear. It's not unmanly to take an active role in making your wedding day something special. If anything, it makes you a man for the 21st Century - and that's a good thing.
What is the most common thing grooms forget to do?
Probably the same thing almost everyone forgets to do: step back, take in all in, and remember to not sweat the small stuff. You only get to do this for the first time once. It's so easy to get caught up in the busy nature of the day and to worry about things going wrong that you forget to just relax and enjoy the moment. Very few wedding day problems are problems worth worrying about, so just smile at the small stuff and give yourself a chance to enjoy the start of your new life together.
What is next for you?
Plugging away at more books, I hope. After spending the last few years writing books on the television shows Breaking Bad, Mad Men, and The Walking Dead, I'm now developing a gardening book focused on growing fruits, vegetables and herbs for use in homebrewed beer. If all goes well I'll also be doing more fiction work than I do now. But mostly, I'll be looking forward to spending a relaxing summer with the family.
Stuff Every Groom Should Know by Eric San Juan is available from Quirk Books now.