1.
Many therapists discuss their 'lived experience' and how their past informs their work. I have experienced trauma as a child and as a young woman. What happened to me informs my work as a therapist, too. However, even though I feel I have 'skin in the game' along with other survivors, I think there is something of more value from surviving what I went through. It is my experience of resolving and releasing those adverse events through therapy so that I live a life free of trauma. I am convinced that people can live and thrive without the shadow of their past ruining their present. I know it's possible because it's true for me.
2.
My first book, '7 Simple Steps to Stop Emotional Eating,' co-written with my therapist colleague Liz Hogon, was published over ten years ago, long before the link between painful emotions and disordered eating became mainstream. It was the first time we shared some of the a-ha moments and insights revealed in our group work or therapy rooms with our client's permission. We wanted to share how disordered eating was never about food, a lack of willpower or being greedy but frequently in response to long-held trauma where food was used to swallow down painful memories. It was often a survival strategy formulated when people felt powerless to cope with the challenges of their lives. Once people who over-ate, restrict their food intake, or binge ate understood the roots of their disordered eating, they could begin to heal and find new and better ways to think and feel about themselves.
3.
My mantra is, 'I'm a work in progress, and sometimes I get it wrong.' As a therapist, I meet a lot of other practitioners, and the ones I am most drawn to are the ones who, like me, recognise our failings and our shared humanity. I have natural misgivings of people who present themselves or their lives as perfect. I've worked with several social media influencers and people in the public eye and observed close-ups of life that are frequently messier and more complex than the 'space cadets' of perfection want us to believe.
4.
Being in therapy is unlike any other situation. I've undertaken my work and experienced as a client all the therapy approaches I've gone on to train in and use with my clients today. People often imagine that therapy sessions are very dark and painful. Still, there is frequently more laughter than tears as I work with clients to release and resolve stumbling blocks stopping them from fulfilling their true potential. Releasing long-term pain, raising self-esteem, finding self-compassion, and letting go of negative self-judgements are the incremental steps to setting yourself free.
5.
Two years ago, I was almost swept out to sea at Dunwich on the Suffolk coast. It was mid-October, and I had stayed in the water too long, so my thinking became confused. Back then, I was swimming alone, and my husband wasn't a fan of the cold Atlantic. After swimming for a while, I floated on my back in a timeless haze until I eventually realised I'd drifted too far out. When I turned to swim back, I couldn't make any headway as a rip current or the tide was against me. It felt like it took ages to progress towards the shore, and my arms and legs were getting heavier and heavier. I sometimes believed I wouldn't return to the beach's safety. Eventually, I saw my husband pacing the shoreline and looking for me. I was very frightened. The lines of the brilliant poem by Stevie Smith, "Not waving but drowning", were the only thing running on repeat in my mind. Never have I been more grateful to be alive than that day. When I swim now, I swim with other women. It's much more fun and a darn sight safer!
6.
I worked for a long time in the film industry before re-training as a therapist some twenty-five years ago. Navigating the precarious nature of film production means I understand some of the pressures that actors, writers and directors uniquely experience. Actors, in particular, experience most keenly what it is like to fail or succeed often in the public gaze. Nothing triggers imposter syndrome and self-doubt more than putting oneself out there, head above the parapet. Even though their work inherently means audiences will judge them, the core of their self-doubt isn't their latest role but the hurt they experienced as a powerless child disregarded or put down, or worse, by careless or uncaring adults. At the heart of who we are, whoever we are, is often a wounded child desperately searching for love and acceptance. Working to protect one's inner child gives people the courage to step up, fulfil their potential and be their best, fearless selves.
7.
I'm one of three generations of social media dating successes. In the 1940s, my father returned home from WWII and became a pen pal with a young woman called Nora. Their exchange of letters, the social media of their day, led to a short courtship and a long and happy marriage, resulting in the birth of my two brothers and me. I met my second husband in 2000 through The Guardian newspaper's Lonely Hearts 'Soulmates' column. My son met his wonderful wife on Tinder almost ten years ago. They will celebrate their seventh wedding anniversary and their son's third birthday this year. A few years ago, I was inspired by my work with clients and by this multi-generational success to launch my online dating course called 'How to get super-savvy about online dating'. Since then, I have multiplied my own and my family's success with the success of hundreds of my clients who have found love online through my dating course.
The Getting of Resilience from the Inside Out (£17.99) will be published on 9th May by Hammersmith Books.
Ideally, 'resilience', or the ability to bounce back from adversity, is formed during childhood in a family dynamic where the child feels loved, accepted and valued for who they are. This book shows readers how to learn a resilient mindset in adulthood after experiencing a less-than-favourable childhood. Resilience is not something you have or don't have - it is learned and can be developed at any stage of one's life.
To this end, the book offers insights and guidance to help readers identify their potential dysfunctional coping strategies, limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviours. It outlines incremental steps people can take to change their thoughts and feelings about themselves. The acquired skills and changes to their mindset allow them to feel more robust and capable of dealing with the struggles in life that can shake their faith and resolve.
Based on personal experience and case studies from her therapy practice, where she has worked with many clients over the years, this book provides gentle, perceptive insights into the barriers to resilience. In addition to Sally's expert guidance, the book is a how-to manual that includes tried and tested self-help therapeutic approaches, access to free additional online resources, and worksheets that assist in the exploration of both learned behaviours and coping strategies.
To this end, the book offers insights and guidance to help readers identify their potential dysfunctional coping strategies, limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviours. It outlines incremental steps people can take to change their thoughts and feelings about themselves. The acquired skills and changes to their mindset allow them to feel more robust and capable of dealing with the struggles in life that can shake their faith and resolve.
The Getting of Resilience from the Inside Out has everything needed to take the reader from negativity to self-empowerment, helping them build self-awareness and implement lasting change.
Author Bio:
Award-winning therapist Sally Baker began her therapeutic training in physical therapy, working with women survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence. She trained in EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and became an advanced-level practitioner, followed by a Clinical Hypnotherapy certification and training in English modality, Percussive Suggestion Technique (PSTEC). She was awarded PSTEC Master Practitioner status in 2014. She is the co-author, with Liz Hogon, of Seven Simple Steps to Stop Emotional Eating and How to Feel Differently About Food. Her words are often featured in publications such as Grazia, GQ, The Independent, and The Telegraph.
