Samina Ali
Pearls Within takes you through a journey of self-discovery in a new dimension.
Can you tell us a bit about how you struggled with your identity?
Naturally being a British girl with Pakistani parents, there is always a slight struggle. The kind of struggle I faced was the switching between the two cultures from home and school. My parents were first generation Pakistani's to enter UK and naturally were adamant to apply the Pakistani culture in a British society. Therefore between the two cultures I had different rights and expectations, this would get confusing at times.
Why was it so difficult to apply your family culture to an alien society?
Because my roles, rights and expectations varied between the two.
Why did you decide to put other’s experiences into your book?
The book is a collaboration of real life scenarios and case studies collated to form a 'self-help', 'personal development' and 'society and culture' book. Naturally because of my background the culture chapter resonates with me.
Can you give us an example of how different cultures affect the way situations are interpreted?
Our interpretations of anything will always be based on our life experiences; therefore this really answers your question in a nutshell. Within our life experiences is our culture impacting our choices, perceptions, interpretations etc. Sub-consciously every interpretation is being measured against what you already know i.e. your life experiences so far. This would be of two kinds, one, your life experience of situations you have experienced and secondly your knowledge of situation that you have not experienced. Your interpretation of knowledge of situations that you have not experienced will still be derived from similar life experiences that you have experienced. Therefore the culture you have been brought up in or are living in currently will essentially form the backdrop of our experiences which will subsequently impact our interpretation.
How can past experience affect our mentality and values?
All our past experiences, positive or negative from early childhood are stored in our subconscious mind; something beyond our control as this is the way the mind works. It’s basically like a storage system with all good and bad experiences stored there. We are not usually aware that this is what is happening in the mind, in the very background. Now the contents in the mind will start controlling how we think and this is where the translation begins when what is in the mind starts to transform into words and behaviour. Our words and behaviour formed from the condition of the mind will set our mentality and values. I would like to add that our mentality and values are not rigid and can be modified at any time in our life when the appropriate techniques are applied.
Please tell us about your journey to becoming qualified in the field of counselling.
When I was in my teens, I had made up my mind that I wanted to become a counsellor. This never went to plan and my life diverted to a different route. Many years later after marriage and with three children, my mother became terminally ill with cancer. I had no choice but to take out time from work to nurse my mother until she finally rested in peace. I had a very interesting journey of nursing my mother and my experience taught me so much that I had not known before. I learnt how influential and impacting one individual can be to another and how this can change and help people. Everybody can speak and advise but is that really what one wants when they are going through a difficult time? The answer is no, all the vulnerable individual wants is to be heard in a safe non-judgemental environment to be allowed to open up their heart and to be understood at their level. I at that point realised that I had just touched a jewel and decided that I want to make a difference to people’s lives.
After my mother’s death, I trained as a counsellor and followed my heart and here I am today.
What is next for you?
My belief and motto is that life is not stagnant, that being stagnant and feeling I have done everything in my life now is going against the nature of life, but rather it should keep flowing. The energy comes from within us, age is no limitation in pursuing your dreams. I have many plans which I do not want to give away at the moment, all I can say is this is just the beginning.