In a nutshell: not all that much.
Confessions of a First Time Mum
And I can tell you what it’s like to be a parent to *my* kids, but not yours or anyone else’s, so anything I say is totally subjective. But the one thing I would confidently say to anyone with a new baby, which applies across the board whether you have an easy or ‘challenging’ baby or two or three at once, is be kind to yourself. Make your life as easy as possible, day to day. Treat yourself in small ways. Don’t forget that you are just as important and valuable and special as that little bundle of joy you’re pushing around the park or wiping its own poo from the back of its neck. It’s easy to keep sacrificing yourself to the overall wellbeing of your family, but if you’re not a happy, healthy bunny at the end of the day then things start to get unbalanced.
I’m all for shortcuts in order to lift the pressure, the work load, to free up a bit of all important self-care time. All genuinely great baby-related products have been invented for a reason! Because someone else has already walked in your shoes and thought ‘Pureeing all this organic sweet potato is a pain in the butt, I wish someone would just sell it to me’ so never never feel guilty for making use of what’s out there. Here are the shortcuts I’ve developed as a parent, to save just a little bit of time and/or hair-pulling on an average day.
You need shoes you can put on without doing up any kind of fastening or zip or lace. Trust me. You don’t have the hands for that any more. Likewise, buy shoes for your kids that are as easy to get on and off as possible. It will probably add up to about 247 saved hours across your lifetime not to have a ‘charming’ little buckle to wrestle into submission six times a day.
Never assume you know how a toddler requires their toast to be. You might want to barrel ahead and just cut sodding triangles to get tea on the table. But 98% of the time you will be wrong. And then you have to start the whole thing over. Same goes for how eggs should be cooked and pizza toppings.
There’s nothing nothing NOTHING wrong with a kids’ film to soak up some wet play hours, if chosen wisely. Good songs, hidden double entendres and even a dashing actor or two can keep the parents in the room equally entertained. Step forward Shrek, Moana and The Incredibles in particular. These stand up to the test of repeating. Sometimes 11 times a day.
Snacks are your friend, if your baby is old enough to snack. I won’t lecture you on sugar content - that’s your call - but anything chewy or a sugar-free lollipop means less noise from the tots for a while. And silence is golden!
Baby slings are great. For bonding and closeness blah blah but also so you can eat some toast with both hands. A bit of kitchen roll over the baby’s head to catch crumbs and it’s the perfect set up. Also, when you’ve successfully managed to go to the loo while the baby’s still in the sling, you are officially ready for your Parenting Badge of Awesomeness. Congrats!